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A New Home

The queer community at the University of Pennsylvania has never been luckier than when a two million-dollar gift toward a new home for the LGBT Center was announced on National Coming Out Day. The gift comes from two extraordinarily successful alumni from the class of 1985. David Goodhand and Vincent Griski, who first met at a dance during their PENN undergraduate years, have been anxious to give back to PENN since their ten-year reunion in 1995. The LGBT Center’s desire to grow and expand provided David and Vinnie with just the opportunity they were looking for.

Thanks to the gift, the LGBT Center, currently located on the third floor of 3537 Locust Walk, will have a new location that will accommodate its need for more space and ultimately allow it to expand its already extensive array of programs and services. The Carriage House, located at 3905 Spruce Street and most recently the home of such offices as Student Life and Facilities Management, will serve as the Center’s new home.

The Carriage House, however, is currently in no shape to house the Center, for it is in need of massive renovations. David and Vinnie’s gift kicks off a five million-dollar fundraising campaign to pay for these renovations.

The announcement of this generous gift was made on October 11 by the University’s president, Judith Rodin, at the National Coming Out Day Rally held on Wynn Commons. The rally served as the Human Rights Campaign’s (HRC) official National Coming Out Day event, and featured Candace Gingrich, half-sister of the former speaker of the house and director of HRC’s National Coming Out Project; Billy Bean, former professional baseball player; and Michael Crawford, eastern field coordinator for HRC. Gingrich echoed HRC’s theme for this year’s NCOD of “Come Out Voting,” encouraging everyone to take part in what was then the upcoming election regardless of party affiliation or inclination. Billy Bean reflected on his experiences as closeted professional baseball player and also mentioned the importance of coming out. Michael Crawford reminded the crowd that everyone is fabulous.

The rally was followed by a reception in Bodek Lounge of Houston Hall, which displayed plans for the renovated Carriage House for all to see. Later that evening, Candace Gingrich and Michael Crawford talked to many members of the Queer Student Alliance at its weekly meeting.

The events of this year’s National Coming Out Day promise a bright future for the queer community at the University of Pennsylvania. Thank you, David and Vinnie, for giving us the resources to grow and expand, and thank you, PENN, for providing a positive, queer-friendly atmosphere in which such growth and expansion is possible.

~Kurt Klinger is a senior Computer Science major from Pennsylvania, Transformers addict, and loves the food at Friday’s.

Challenging Perspectives

EDITORS NOTE: Ninah’s story reflects upon her experience at the NGLTF Creating Change Conference. For another perspective, please read Mike’s story on the next page. ON WEDNESDAY, November 8, I boarded an airplane to Atlanta, GA to attend my first National Gay & Lesbian Task Force Creating Change Conference. Although my enthusiasm was low, due to sheer exhaustion, I was quickly re-energized by the spirit of the conference. I was surrounded by all types of people — queer people — from all over the country and the world, representing various groups and communities, ranging from young adults to the elderly, people who came together in the spirit of diversity to take positive action towards freedom, justice, and equality. I was overwhelmed by the love that I received from those strangers. It was as if our red and white nametags were a license to love and touch and coalesce with one another, leaving behind the bounds that would otherwise separate us. Indeed, those nametags represented the mission that we had all come to fulfill. The Creating Change conference provides a chance for participants to come together to not only celebrate the diversity of the queer community but to analyze and strategize ways in which to empower ourselves and our movement toward liberation. While the conference did not officially begin until Friday there were several pre-conference institutes that covered many areas like dismantling racism, youth organizing, people of color, gender politics, governmental relations, and ageism. After planning to attend the People of Color Institute, I moved to the Youth Organizing Institute when I was told that we would have breakout session in which we would be given the chance to dialogue among youth of color. Hallelujah! This is when the true epiphany of this momentous occasion came to light in my eyes. I was going to be surrounded by people like me. I would finally not be forced to choose a space that embodied only Black heterosexuals (and closeted queers) or queer people that did not include a visible number of Blacks. Not that I haven’t been in an environment with queer African-Americans, but it mostly had been within a club setting with people not necessarily dedicated to constructive activism. The experience was both moving and empowering. It helped me to regain my focus and renew my energy to fight the injustices that have shaped my life and my struggle. After working with the youth of color all morning the entire group was brought back together to share their experiences. Many of the youth did not share the feeling of inclusitivity that I had. They felt that they were victims of ageism/adultism and that the conference did not meet their needs. Now, maybe I am just immune to the depth and severity of their teen angst but in the face of the multiplicity of forums and workshops open during the conference their complaints of exclusions seemed quite contrived. I don’t see how the conference could have been more accommodating. While there were many “youth” oriented sessions they did not exist to create a separate space in which to exclude the youth from the conference activities but as a safe space in which the youth could connect and coalesce. The same opportunity was provided for other groups, as there were the People of Color Institute and caucuses for bisexuals, transgender, Native Americans, and others. Just as there was a chance for them to come together in their separate spaces, there was ample opportunity to come to a larger table to voice their concerns and how they need to be addressed in the face of our overall struggle. The most amazing part of this conference to me was that many of the workshops and messages were not just relevant to queer and allied peoples, but any peoples dedicated to any social justice movement. Creating Change means making a commitment to “creating a world that respects and celebrates the diversity of human experiences and identity where all people may fully participate.” Being queer does not put anyone above the privilege or bias that comes from being white, male or rich. The very nature of the diversity of the queer community draws together peoples that come from so many seemingly different struggles. But, by sponsoring this conference every year NGLTF creates a model for much needed direction of activist movements in the future. We must step beyond the idea that we each have our “own” fight. In essence, we are all fighting the same things. We must see how it is beneficial for LGBT activists to fight for the rights of racial minorities, not only because they are a part of the queer community, but because the same system of injustice oppresses both people. I applaud the NGLTF organizers for paving the way for future activism. We have tried to fight these fights against racism, sexism, classism, heterosexism and all the –isms individually for far too long. We must now recognize how these issues intersect and effect us all and what we must do together to end the oppression. ~Ninah Harris is a Sociology major from Long Island, who will never have short hair, and enjoys feasting on beef.

EDITORS NOTE: Mike’s story reflects upon his experience at the NGLTF Creating Change Conference. For another perspective, please read Ninah’s story on the previous page. IF YOU HAD ASKED me a few weeks ago about issues faced by the growing queer movement in the United States, I probably would have rattled off a short list of goals such as inclusion in national hate crimes laws, equal employment, right to family, and things of that nature. After having spent a weekend at the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force’s Creating Change Conference, my outlook has been greatly altered. Although I am always attending events centered around issues of oppression, I had never fully comprehended its extensive nature in the queer community and the way that I have been actor and a victim of that oppression. My journey from someone who is blind to many issues of oppression faced by my fellow queers to someone who is now aware of these things began on Thursday, November 9, 2000. After breakfast (at 8am!), I attended a daylong institute on institutionalized racism within the modern LGBT movement. Although not perfect, the experience was overwhelmingly positive. Too often when we attempt to conceptualize issues of oppression we concentrate on one issue. We attempt to consider sexism and racism as if they are not related and as if they do not flow from similar social constructs. Furthermore, we also tend to discuss the effect of this system on the oppressed not the oppressors. This is one-sided and will not help us to demolish the structural roots of racism, sexism, ableism, lookism, genderism, classism, and ageism, because it ignores this issues of power and privilege that play such an important role in our society. Carmen Vasquez and Betty Powell, our facilitators, were quite cognizant of this fact and as a result a multiplicity of issues was discussed. However, the racism of the queer community did become the primary factor. Vasquez and Powell also knew that just discussing the “cage of oppression,” as they metaphorically explained, was not sufficient; we were all required to formulate an action plan for promoting racial inclusion in our own organizations. After the experience that I had with my workshop on racism in the queer community, I was both excited to see what came next and wary that nothing would compare to the wealth of information that I had received. I could not have been more wrong. The opening plenary entitled “What Comes Next?” was the perfect beginning to the actual meat of the conference. Four queer activists comprised a panel designed to provide an answer to where the LGBT movement should go next. With emblazoned and impassioned words, two of the speakers — Margarita Lopez, the first openly lesbian Puerto Rican member of the New York City Council and Joo-Hyun Kang of the Audre Lorde Project for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Two Spirit People of Color — provided the conference goers with the energy to create true and standing social change. Their emphasis on coalition building for positive change and support of progressive movements of all types demonstrated ideas and issues that I have long believed yet have not assigned much of my energy. Over the next two days at the Conference, I attended five other workshops, which I had chosen because of both their educational value and their relevance to the issues that I had been so openly exposed to in the previous day’s workshop. Most of them were exactly what I had desired. The issues discussed in a workshop named “Queer on Queer Racism: Asian/Pacific Islanders in the Crossfire” were striking similar to the controversy that arose when “The Raven” bar chose to use Asian/Pacific Islander culture as a theme for its Halloween party in New Hope, PA. I gained knowledge about the growing queer Latina/o population and the usually forgotten Native American population. This is not to say that all the workshops I attended were positive experiences. In two workshops about the nature of oppression, the prevalence of queer issues hinged primarily on the youth that were present. The facilitators were primarily queer youth organizers and the issues they discussed were important, but their conclusions were oversimplified. They also made me feel “out of place” and quite outdated, which was rather shocking considering I am only 21 and the cutoff of for youth is generally 24. I was impressed with their organization and activism, but their self-righteous and at times closed-minded attitudes were off-putting. This led me to consider the causes of their activism and their feelings of exclusion in what I have felt was a very youth-obsessed community. They have caused me to reconsider these issues, but I will have to get back to you once I reach a conclusion. All in all, I would rate my first NGLTF Creating Change experience as positive. I learned many things about myself and the queer community. More importantly it caused me to have a spiritual awakening which will help me to create change on PENN’s campus and in general. ~Mike Hartwyk is a Sociology major from New Jersey, recommends spending holidays alone, and eating grits for breakfast.

Blueblack

I worked as a bag boy at the local C-Town a few summers ago. The afternoons brought me rude customers, the constant rustle of plastic bags, and endless screaming from my boss. I went there after school, although I really preferred to be playing video games or even doing  homework. It wasn’t the most pleasant job in the world, but I did what was necessary to help my family make ends meet. My shifts were pretty boring, and my time at the store was mostly forgettable.

Except for that one Monday. It started out a day like most others. My boss yelled at me for being too freaking slow as usual. “Stupid Chinese kid.” The pretty Latina cashier checked her nails and snapped her gum, thinking about when she can get the hell out of this place. Someone spilled Sprite in aisle six. Some baby was whining and asking his mother to get him a Tootsie Roll.

Then I saw him. He came up to the register and bought a pack of Wrigley’s Spearmint gum. The cashier yawned with supreme boredom and took the quarter from him. He passed within five inches of me. He was wearing an immaculate suit, probably from Today’s Man or Brooks Brothers. Expensive cologne in just the right amount wafted from him. He had ivory skin, and golden hair that looked like they captured the rays of the sun. He passed by quickly so I couldn’t get a good look at his eyes. “Um-um....,” I stammered, “you, uh, want a bag for that?” My tiny, frail, nervous voice was too low to be heard. He headed out the door where he met someone who was probably his  girlfriend, a pretty white girl out of Vogue magazine. He kissed her and started to walk away. But for some inexplicable reason, he looked back and gazed, just for a second, into my eyes.

And I was lost in a world of unimaginable blue. For one small moment in eternity, it didn’t matter that I was a not-so-hot and oh-so-poor Asian boy in a rundown neighborhood with a dead end job while he was a beautiful and successful architect/doctor/lawyer/god-knows-what with a gorgeous girlfriend. For one tiny second in infinity, the deep blue of his eyes and the dirt black of mine locked together and the  coalescence of colors formed a new shade of blueblack. For one infinitesimal instant in time, I felt that he saw past my unruly tar-colored hair and past my clammy face and even past my maleness, and saw directly into my soul. Waves of the ocean washed over my very being. The summer skies smothered my essence. In that one gaze, our spirits connected.

“Hello-OH! Hey, can you hear me, kid?! Hey, I’m talking to you! You gonna bag that for me or what?!” A loud, obnoxious man was waiting impatiently for me to bag his gallon of milk. I quickly wrapped it in plastic. When I turned back towards the blue-eyed man, he was gone.

~ Angelus is currently a PENN student.

Check Them Out!

As a medical student sitting through The Vagina Monologues, I was struck by one recurring thought, beside “this is fabulous”: Why do women have an entire show about their vaginas? Perhaps the fact that we live in a male-oriented society probably negates the need for boys to have a show about their genitals. Seriously, we can all probably admit that boys are more in touch with their “down theres” than anybody else.

However, touching oneself and being in touch with oneself are two totally different things. Let’s take monthly testicular exams for example. How many of you men are down there, whiling away the hours and thinking, “Gosh, now would be a great time to check myself (or remind my boyfriend to check himself) for the presence of testicular cancer?” Not many of you, I’m sure.

So, why should each and every man take a few minutes to check himself out? The big C word is why (no, not the four letter one) – cancer. In fact, testicular cancer is the most common form of cancer in men between ages 20-35. With early detection, testicular cancer has a cure rate of 90%. So, what’s the down side? Well, if doctors don’t catch it early enough, they may not only cut off one of your nuts (which we make sound more friendly by using the term orchiectomy), but they may need to blast you with radiation or give you chemotherapy. And you don’t even want to know the surgical approach they use to remove it. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.

It is time, then, to be more like all those women who dutifully check their breasts once a month, and then let their doctor check them once a year.

Here’s what ALL men need to do. Sorry guys, no visuals. You’ll just have to use your imagination…

1. Find a time once a month to check yourself (first of the month, bill paying day, whatever, first Friday, just make sure you’ll remember)
   
   
2. Find a time when you can do the exam. After a warm shower is best because it relaxes the scrotum.
   
   
3. Using one hand, GENLTY roll each testicle between your thumb and two of your fingers. The testicle should feel roughly egg-shaped, and the surface should feel smooth. TAKE NOTE for the presence of ANY irregularities or lumps. Painless lumps are the most concerning. Using this method, irregularities as small as a grain of sand should be felt.
   
   
4. On the back of each testicle is the epididymis. This is a collection of tubes that lead to your spermatic cord. Although these two structures are more irregular, you may wish to examine these also. The IMPORTANT thing to note is whether the irregularities on these two structures change from month to month (i.e. become bigger) – they shouldn’t.
   
   
5. Make note of any CHANGES in the exam from month to month. If you notice ANY irregularities or changes, contact your health care provider immediately so s/he can evaluate you. It is important that s/he see you so that s/he can differentiate between testicular cancers and benign conditions such as hernias, hydroceles (cysts), varicoceles (abnormalities of blood vessels), etc.

That’s it! There you have it! Nothing to it. But remember, in order to be of any help, you need to check yourself once a month. You may also want to have your doctor check you once a year, or at least tell him/her that you check yourself so he/she knows that you are concerned about your health.

~David Dinan is a third-year medical student who wants to specialize in pediatrics, co-chair of the LGBTC’s Advisory Board, and he says he will write a health-related article for every other issue of OUTlines. Stay tuned...

Let's Do Brunch

On November 11, a crisp autumn morning, Homecoming Weekend at PENN, sixty PennGALA members, their families and friends, enjoyed brunch in the Class of 1958 Café, a new space in what was formerly the West lobby of Irvine Auditorium. Gathered beneath a large recreation of an asbestos theatre curtain and reproductions of the heraldic designs that appear throughout the building, folks enjoying the tasty buffet were welcomed by PennGALA Co-Chairs Jeff Wolper and Liz Cooper. Provost Robert Barchi also recounted the history of the University’s support for its sexual minority community members.

The culmination of that support is the University’s commitment of an historic building on campus to provide a new home for the LGBT Center and its affiliated student organizations. David Goodhand then described the plans for the renovation of the 1876 Carriage House in Hamilton Village. David, and his partner Vincent Griski, made the lead gift to the capital campaign that will fund the renovation and, hopefully, endow the Center’s programs and services. Shortly after the conclusion of David’s description, PENN President Judith Rodin dropped by and greeted those attending the brunch. In brief impromptu remarks, Dr. Rodin thanked David and Vincent for their generosity, praised the LGBT Center and its staff for their work, and indicated that she looks forward to the opening of the new facility in Spring 2002.

As Dr. Rodin and some PennGALA members headed to the football game, about thirty others participated in a tour of the Carriage House led by David and Monty Freeman, a PennGALA member who is also the project architect. Participants seemed to find both the brunch and the tour pleasant and exciting.

~Bob Schoenberg is the LGBT Center Dir, crowned grammar king, and enjoys dessert.

Crazy Bastard

Should I accept today's common wisdom
that believes without a shadow of doubt
that young, thin, tall and blonde
it's the ultimate way to go?

I don't think so.
So far and ... so close
My desires can't be any different.
My approach totally and perversely twisted.

In the crowds I search
for the one who is crippled
and always in a wheelchair.
I search the ones
with their skins diseased,
the blinds, the deaf,
the lost sheep!

I'm a wolf with a thousand different costumes!
I'm a demagogue with a thousand different speeches!

To the crippled I say
"Raise and follow me to my room"

Then my right hand caresses
the skin that my left hand has cleansed
as if lifting a funeral veil.

To the blind I tell
"Let your sins go and see my eyes that burn for you".

My favorites ...
are those with a withered heart.
The wavering souls, eroded by all the meaningless pain.
One or two kisses and they are mine forever.

Why am I so deviant?
So strange? So crazy?
I may never know the reason.
But I enjoy playing my tricks!

I've been doing this for years!

Ever since the Light shone in the darkness,
I've been here doing this weird stuff.

I know I'm insane,
"a social misfit".
But unlike everyone else
I see this world
hurriedly running to its death
and I cannot get excited.

All my heart wants
it's to go after the deaf just to tell them:
"It's time for you to listen to my love song" ...

"It's time for you to raise yourself from the dead!

And follow me to my room,
where I have bread for your hunger
and wine for your painful thirst."

Modern Times

Time is so scarce!

I look at your eyes for a few moments.
And it's time to die already.

My heart starts to look into the abyss of your soul.
And the day is gone away.

So many seeds that your smile dropped in my soul.
But you left before they could see the daylight.

What does it rest from you now that you are gone?

Is it the smell of your youthfull body?
Is it your smile shining in the night?
Is it the warmth of your body close to mine?

Or is it this love that's burning my soul
like a storm of flames?

You are gone!
When you were here
my heart looked for your heart with no rest.

But each second seemed to be a barrier.
And each word a lapsus with no heart.
Because to love you I don't need words,
I don't need time!

All I need are your smiling eyes,
and in a breach of Time
I will love you for a Lifetime.

Death visits me

Dear friends,
I want to shae with you
my last sexual adventure,
no doubts the most torrid.

It was night, already late,
I was returning from work,
when I realized that in my bed
there was someone who was not me.
Something else than my body
was resting there peacefully.

Removing the covers
hastily I saw her
so white, so shining under the moon.
A bony presence, oh Lord
hollow her eyes
cold her hands
cold her careses
It was Death
who awaited me desireful
She said she wanted me
with a smile oh so spiteful.

What do you do here
my most respected lady?
Don't you have a husband
to tell you what to do?
To tell you who you are?
How dare you doing these type of things?
Getting yourself, just like that,
in the bed of a man
who is single and passionate?
Haven't you heard the Pope saying
to fornicate is forbidden?
That sex is only for people in love
appropiately married
under the Church's benidiction?
Listen to me my esteemed Lady
I have no feelings for you
I only respect you
and maybe not even that
and if you allow me
I will avoid you until my last day.
I don't want you around me
picking in my pockets
clicking your bones
scaring my friends away.

I want you very far away
and deeply forgotten.

And if I must sleep with you
It will be against my will.

All poetry submitted by Julio Gonzalez-Atavales. Julio was born in Santiago de Chile to a working class family. He nonetheless attended a private Catholic school with great efforts from his parents. In 1988 he was admitted by PENN to do graduate work in Physics -- now he works at the Neurology Department.