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A Renewed Pride: Carriage House Grand Opening

The dreary afternoon of September 26th did not dampen the celebratory grand opening of the Carriage House, the new home of the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Center. While the sun did not beam, the pride rainbow was symbolically illuminated over the commencement of what is to become a commemoration for years to come; the new LGBT Center officially opened its doors with a ceremonial ribbon-cutting. This past summer, the LGBT Center moved into its new home at the Carriage House [3907 Spruce Street]. The ribbon-cutting ceremony culminated over two years of successful planning to relocate from the Center’s old, cramped, third floor home at 3537 Locust Walk.

The new Center is the result of $2.5 million project that restored the historic Carriage House and serves as a beacon for LGBT and allied staff, students, alumni, and friends of the Penn community. With the vision of the project’s leadership donors, Penn alumni Vincent Griski (W ’85) and David Goodhand ( C ’85), whose gift of $2 million, along with over $500,000 from various alumni and friends of the LGBT community, has paved the way for a continued presence and significance for LGBT issues, awareness, and longevity at Penn.

“The words of the day are pride and gratitude”, LGBT Center Director Bob Schoenberg proclaimed, as he gave thanks to those who were key to the efforts of the new LGBT Center. Bob, who has been a catalyst for twenty years in shaping LGBT awareness and action at Penn, thanked the major donors, VPUL, and friends who aided in the Carriage House project. On hand to share in Bob’s tear-fighting joy, were over 300 guests. University President Judith Rodin, members of the administration, staff, faculty, LGBT and allied students, alumni, gift donors, and friends all shared enthusiastically in the triumph of the new Center.

The new Center represents a university commitment to the LGBT community. President Rodin portrayed the Center as a meeting-house for all communities at Penn. She pledged that Penn, the “first university to serve LGBT people”, serves to “embrace sexual and gender minorities as part of (the) Penn family”. Vincent Griski, stated that the new center will be a “showcase for not just LGBT centers, but for any other student center throughout the country” in his acknowledgment remarks. Griski also gave “gratitude to the (Penn) administration that was super from the beginning”, and to alumni who donated funds for the project, over forty percent of whom were first-time donors.

On behalf of LGBT and allied students, ALLIES co-chair Aviva Moster gave thanks to all those who made the new center a possibility for students who now feel that “they have their very own space”. Aviva also remarked that the new LGBT Center will continue the work of LGBT and allied organizations, and enables other Penn organizations, affiliated LGBT resource groups, and the Philadelphia community to hold events at the Carriage House and be a part of Penn’s LGBT and allied community.

As a proud member of the LGBT community and staff member of the new LBGT Center at the Carriage House, I wholeheartedly look forward to revitalized, visionary efforts of LGBT awareness, support, education, social affairs, and agendas. Not only does the Carriage House serve as a future LGBT landmark site, it commemorates a new era for an underrepresented global community that continues to work for its causes, creeds, and importance…the pride rainbow shines bright!

~Clifford High

The Sun Always Shines on TV(?)

I didn’t watch television for four years of college. Sure my friends and I rented movies, and during breaks I watched taped episodes of “Fraiser” and “The Simpsons”, but that doesn’t count. I never had one of those sit down and be a vegetable in front of the ol’ tube afternoons. Now that I am in grad school, I am making up for lost time. Given the chance, I will happily spend six or more hours rapt in front of the television. I even watch things that I don’t like because the novelty of actually watching still hasn’t worn off. But my biggest vice is The Learning Channel. While it sounds very educational and enlightening, it isn’t when you watch “A Wedding Story” (and all its kin, “A Dating Story”, “A Baby Story”, “A Personal Story”, etc. – I am waiting for the “A Breathing Story” at this rate) as compulsively as I have been. My excuse is that I am getting married and I need ideas. My real reason is I love criticizing the dresses and sometimes it makes me cry since I am so sentimental.

Perhaps it is because I am coming to television with fresh eyes that it has recently occurred to me that television is the great over-generalizer. To represent something, it is inevitable that what is being represented is going to be condensed, but much of what I have seen goes far beyond such an academic necessity. Take, for example, “A Wedding Story”. In some ways this is a tasteful show because it allows the couples to speak for themselves. However, while they may not all be straight couples (conceivably there is a bi person lurking there somewhere), they are all very traditional male and female couples. In all my hours of watching (which are sadly considerable) I have never seen a gay or lesbian couple on the show.

I don’t know their policy for screening potential couples, so I can only speculate, but the implications are still clear. Apparently, queer love doesn’t count. For legal reasons (since queer people still can’t get married legally anywhere in this country), so-called moral ones, fear of losing ratings, or some other reason, it almost doesn’t matter. What it comes down to is that according to this show, queer people don’t exist.

Even more disturbing is the fact that queer people, when they do appear on television, are relegated to “special” spaces. “Will and Grace”, “Queer as Folk”, “Friends”, “The Real World”, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” – all these shows seem to throw up red warning flags that THERE ARE GAY PEOPLE ON THIS SHOW EVERYBODY BRACE YOURSELVES AND WATCH OUT! Queer people can be on television but only when the audience is adequately warned and as long as they stay in their own special, reserved media places. I have yet to see something on television where a queer person just happened to be part of the show and their sexual orientation was not in some way a central focus, though in some ways “Queer as Folk” made an admirable try. As I said, television is the great over-generalizer, and when you generalize, you have to mark deviance loud and clear so everyone can be fed the more easily digestable norm. Anything different, including sexual and gender minorities, is threatening.

Queer people as normal, well-rounded individuals don’t exist on television. I wonder, though: do we even want to exist in such a world? While I admit that “Will and Grace” has made tremendous strides in terms of visibility, I wonder at what cost? Is visibility worth it at the expense of people thinking Jack is a realistic character? I am all for different media (television included) drawing away from realism in order to make a point or express something that wouldn’t be understood otherwise. What I worry about is that much of the viewing audience is shallow or uneducated enough to not know the difference.

Audre Lorde said that when you are not known, when you are not visible to the powers that be around you, it chips away at your sense of self. She was referring to people who have power over others, including and especially teachers. I think, to some extent, this applies to television. If you don’t see someone like you reflected back at you from the world, it makes it that much harder to figure out who and what you are. The amount of information you have available at the time is both freeing and limiting in this sense. I think back to when I was in ninth grade — I thought I had an eating disorder although I ate normally and never obsessed about my food intake because my health teacher said that staring at photographs of models, which I did, was a symptom. I wasn’t interested exclusively in boys or in girls; I didn’t know there was such a thing as bisexuality because nothing in my world had shown me such an identity. Therefore I was convinced I was sick because I enjoyed looking at gorgeous women but I was certain that I wasn’t a lesbian. Maybe a stronger person would have resisted the straight/lesbian dichotomy that trapped me and found out more, but I think that there are many others like me who would be confused and disturbed.

Whose job is it to depict all these ways of being, sexual orientation and otherwise? Is it television’s? Many people seem to think that television has a tremendous influence over their children. I find that point difficult to argue, if those children watch a lot of television. However, I am torn about putting the burden of educating people, especially children, on television. It should not be a substitute parent or a substitute for self discovery and the support of meaningful social networks and role models. It is undeniable, though, that television has an impressive reach, and what is on it— and more importantly what is not on it— matters. The people who produce television shows have an obligation as responsible members of the media to not only cater to audience tastes but to find some time to adequately reflect who is out there in that audience. Until it becomes any better, I think I am going to stick to watching Animal Planet.

~Bethany

Guilty

My lover isn’t the right gender. Or so I’ve been told. That person — that wonderful person whose eyes seem to capture all the happiness in the world when they look at me -- that person is the enemy. That person is out to hurt me. My choice to be with that person is disgusting, and our sex is gross, maybe even unnatural to some. And even worse, I’ve turned my back on everyone I loved and am a traitor. My lover’s genitals and gender identification/affiliation have made me an abomination. I am a sexual deviant.

Sound familiar? Sound like homophobia ala the radical right? This time, those hateful ideas and words have been brought to you specially by members of the queer community itself! Welcome to the world of biphobia, something just as ugly and capable of tearing our community apart. I used to be your sister, but suddenly I am the enemy.

I am a bisexual dyke, active in the queer community, and I have an opposite sex partner. And I’m angry. I’m angry because those things were told to me upon starting my relationship with my present lover, because of his “unfortunate” chromosomal make-up. I’m angry because the people that once told me they supported me and loved me for ALL of my choices in life (when those choices included dating a woman) have now turned their backs on ME.

Growing up bi in suburban America (aka Compulsory Heterosexuality, USA) was an experience in and of itself, but upon growing up and out into the queer world of Philadelphia, I have encountered a surprising range of reactions to my sexuality in the queer community. Now, anything was a relief from what I was used to dealing with back home, but even the “queer community” is not completely prejudice-free, which was a realization that blindsided me. I must admit, I was taken by surprise the first time I was met with unwelcome biphobic remarks in a predominantly lesbian discussion group. I felt like I was being betrayed, I thought we were all part of a “community.” Apparently, though, some of us were more privileged to be in this community than others, and I was of that “other” type, because I was bi.

After doing a rather extensive research paper on the topic of biphobia, I reasoned that the problem really lies in human nature, and the way we have organized our society into this binary system of black/white, straight/gay, girl/boy, out/in, right/left, stop/go, fast/slow, with no room for compromise or middle ground. Bisexuals cause confusion for people who seek to pigeon-hole others according to their sexuality, because bis aren’t straight, but they aren’t gay, they are BI! They compromise a THIRD category, which doesn’t fit into that binary model…so what to do then? Forget trying to understand bisexuals, forget trying to learn about someone else’s lifestyle or interests, instead, let’s just ostracize them!

And so an entire group of people are denied their identities because they do not fit into society’s strict model of sexualities. One might think, as I did, that the lesbian and gay communities would naturally be compassionate about this, as they suffered much oppression and hatred over time, and offer the bisexual community a sense of support, but I have found that instead, the lesbian and gay communities are often just as guilty of casting us off as the rest of society.

I’ve been told by some self-identified lesbians that I’m a traitor, that I’m really just straight, that I never was bi and it was all an act, that I’m just retaining the “heterosexual privilege,” that I am “revolting” for having sex with men, and that I turned my back on the queer community. I’ve been accused by gay men of similar “crimes,” including being a “fag-hag” who just wanted a taste of what it would be like to be lesbian for a day. I’ve been accused of being trendy, kinky, promiscuous, deviant, slutty, wild, a bad influence, and everything else under the sun, by members of both the straight and lesbian/gay communities alike.

Point is: it’s not just the straight people that are name calling, it’s everyone. No one is innocent anymore, and we all have to examine our own prejudices before we start blaming others for being hate-mongers or phobics.

The sex I have right now is still as queer as it was when I did it with women and other men (and will still be queer if this relationship doesn’t work out and I go back into the dating pool!). The genitals have changed, but the story remains the same. I am still the same person, with the same beliefs, and the same die-hard commitment to the LGBT community. Just because my lover uses the bathroom with a different sign on the door doesn’t make me any less queer. Just because I am dating a man, does not mean I am dating the patriarchy/heterosexist mainstream America.

I should not have to defend my right to love whom I choose. That is my choice, and who I take to bed with me is my business. I have not “turned straight” nor will any amount of sex and/or propaganda “turn me” straight or gay as some have purported to try to do. I am bi. That’s the end of the line for me. My sex doesn’t change depending on my partner, it is always bi and it is always queer. No longer will the B remain the silent contingency in the LGBT, we are loud, we are proud, and you damn well better believe we are queer.

~Amanda Nordstrom

OUT & In-Focus: Albert Moore SW'86

Albert Moore was lucky enough to have two separate but equally fulfilling experiences at Penn. He first arrived on campus in 1982, the fall of his junior year. Albert spent his previous two years at Dickinson College in Carlisle, PA and was hoping that a fall semester spent at Penn would help ease the transition he was hoping to make in the spring of ’82, when he planned to study in Mexico City.

From the moment he arrived on campus, Albert said that he felt as if he was right at home. A big factor that contributed to his comfort level was his College House. Coincidentally, Albert was assigned the same college house in 1982 that I was assigned in 2002: Stouffer. He described his time at Stouffer with such enthusiasm and appreciation, it makes me feel joy to know that I live there now and will hopefully get to experience the sense of community and mutual understanding among the residents that he felt.

During the fall of ’82, Albert explains that he was in the process of questioning his sexuality. After he came to Penn and felt accepted by the community, and he explains that his coming out process went from a more internal experience to a very external one. This process ultimately ended his senior year at Dickinson when he finally gained enough courage to tell his close family and friends about his sexuality.

Albert’s second experience with the University was as a graduate student and an employee. After completing his MSW at the school of Social Work, having interned all the while with Bob Schoenberg, Albert worked at Student Life Services for seven years. It was at this time that he developed his love for working with undergraduates. This love would go on to shape the majority of Albert’s professional career.

The above experiences allowed Albert to see and partake in the transition that the LGBT community at Penn has made. In the fall of 1982, when the LGBT community was just beginning to gel under Bob’s direction, Albert described queer group meetings as very different from how they are today. They were much more secretive and the group served more as a place where queer students could exchange information. It was also very low profile and predominately male. Moreover, Albert tells of how there was another group on campus called the Progressive Student Alliance. The group was very forward thinking and very much concerned with various aspects of advocacy for all types of minority groups – including the LGBT community.

When Albert returned to the University to get his graduate degree, he noticed that LGBT services had truly flourished during the time that he was away. His internship with Bob allowed him to work first hand in making LGBT community services that much more diverse. Among his many accomplishments, he helped to organize the first real university program on AIDS from a student perspective. Albert continued to watch the University’s LGBT based support thrive during his time as an employee at Student Life. His amazement continued through the years — even when Albert was not at Penn — and culminated with the opening of the new LGBT Center this fall.

After his career at Penn, Albert moved to California where he continued his career in education. He worked for many institutions, both public and private, until finding his current job in 1999 as the Special Assistant to the Chancellor in the West Valley-Mission Community College District. Albert explains that he is absolutely in love with his job. The position allows him to do and experience new things constantly while “taking the ideas of the Chancellor and being able to put them into operation.” The ability to be personally satisfied while giving back to the community through education is one of Albert’s greatest attributes.

In addition to having found success in his professional life, Albert also considers himself to be quite successful in his personal affairs. He describes his family as “one of the most supporting and loving families that a person could hope to have.” Albert especially valued their support during his coming out process and has continued to value it through out the years that have followed. He told me that he has many nieces and nephews who are extremely accepting of him, and he is grateful to their parents for raising them in such a way.

Aside from relatives, Albert also greatly values his friends. On his desk he has a saying that he looks at everyday to remind him of their importance: “Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves.” Without their love and support, Albert claims he would be nothing.

Albert has also been lucky enough to find a partner whom he cherishes dearly. After countless years of searching, Albert had come to the conclusion that perhaps love was not for everyone, and that some were destined to only find happiness in family life and/or in work. However, he describes his partner, Gunter, as the right person who came along at just the right time. If Albert had not been at the point in his life where he was at, having lived through so many experiences and trials, then he may have never found Gunter. This is a large part of the reason why Albert is a firm believer in destiny and fate; it was his destiny to meet Gunter on that certain day and it is their fate to work together to find happiness.

Albert is a man that has no regrets about the things he has experienced and looks forward to every coming day with a sense of optimism, and that is why it was a pleasure to interview him.

~Nikki Riley

If you, or another Penn alumni you know, would like to be featured in “Out & In Focus,” please contact the OUTlines staff at 215-898-5044 or <center@dolphin.upenn.edu>.

In with the New

Reflecting back on my first year experience(s) at Penn I must admit that I’m a bit antsy (if not thrilled) about the possibilities for this upcoming year. While last year proved to be immensely exciting, I’m already thinking that this could be the year that things truly kick-off in a new and interesting direction; perhaps in a somewhat snowball fashion (if you will), in which both momentum and future focus are re-established on this campus.

With the arrival of the new Carriage House I’m anticipating that even more students and LGBT community members from both on and off campus will be encouraged to socialize among one another – something that aside from the party scene, was not too common last year, for a variety of valid reasons. For many individuals like myself, however, the Center almost represented a second home of sorts; and on that basis alone, I’m extremely thrilled that our new facilities can accommodate an even larger audience.

Last year, as an older returning student from the “left coast,” I often was home-sick and felt very much out of my element. The Center not only provided a hospitable setting in which I was able to connect with other LGBT people, but more importantly was highly instrumental in my overall transition to Penn’s campus (which in itself can be a significant challenge for most). Not saying that the Center is the “end-all or be-all” for Penn’s community, but without question, it definitely helps to have such resources at your immediate disposal.

Not to get all mushy about my past experiences at the Center, but I truly can only see things getting better here. Many may not remember the tight quarters of the former three room building or past programming activities which were often perceived to be too male and/or white dominated. I can guarantee that if you do, you’ll be more than surprised by the progress and schedule of things at the new Center. With a slew of activities and ongoing programs surrounding the many communities within the LGBT family, the agenda for the new Center definitely revolves around inclusion and diversity. That’s right, it’s “all about the swirl” these days…

So here’s to a new and exciting year for all!

~JC Warren

Journey to Transgender

Dear Readers:

I would like to invite you to join me on my present journey.  Actually, this is probably more of a challenge than an invitation, as my travels will take me to a place most of us are unfamiliar with and in a way most of us dare not trek, in someone else’s shoes.

Not too long ago, I found myself in somewhat of a dilemma. I presented myself as person in support of transgender rights (as I am in support of all peoples who are victims of social injustices).  But what does it really mean to be a trans ally? Many of us were quick and adamant about attaching the “T” to LGB but with that seemingly small addition comes a large responsibility, a responsibility which I had failed to live up to in its entirety.

I did not make it a priority to educate myself on transgender issues and laws. I did not actively seek ways to be a better ally. My support only went so far as knowing and demanding that the “T” be acknowledge because it has not been for far too long and we can’t afford to leave anyone out. But what happens beyond gender neutral language and restrooms? When asked about the “T”, I found myself unable to answer difficult questions about transgender issues. This led me to ask myself, “can you claim a word if you don’t know the full implications of its meaning”?

I would not say that I am transphobic, but I am trans-ignorant. I cannot lobby about laws and policies that effect the trans community quite simply because I am not aware of what they are. I can’t speak to the trans experience because I have not sought a full understanding of that experience. It is most often, however, our ignorance that feeds our fears.

While talking with a friend at an LGBT event, ze said, “Trans folk are the only queer people that remain invisible in “queer-friendly” spaces.”  This is the comment that touched me and opened my understanding eye to the harsh reality of transphobia in the LGB community. Ze went on to express to me how often ze encountered the piercing sting of being shunned by the queer community.  I listened intently as I watched our “family” walk among us turning a deliberate eye. Standing there with hir, I could not help but absorb the pangs of invisibility.  Had I not shared that space, I would not have gained that new level of understanding.

So my challenge to you, reader, is to take some time to put yourself in a transgender space, a place where you exchange ignorance for understanding and empathy breeds action. Seek to gain an enlightenment of the transgender experience. I will never know firsthand what it is to be trans but I will know firsthand what it means to stand on that battle line. And ultimately, the battle is not theirs but ours, as our enemies are one in the same. I’ll be looking for you on the frontline.

~Ninah Harris

Off and Running

The LGBT Center bustled with activity during the first few weeks of the semester. In addition to enjoying our new home and celebrating the Carriage House’s Grand Opening, we’ve hosted a number of important activities to help students become familiar with the LGBT resources both at Penn and in the greater Philadelphia area.

One of the first events of this academic year was held on September 3, when LGBT Center Director Bob Schoenberg and Associate Director Erin Cross led “The Gayborhood: A Walking Tour of Queer Philadelphia” for freshmen and anyone new to the campus. Beside walking past several of the more well-known social establishments in the area, the group visited the William Way LGBT Community Center, Giovanni’s Room, and Afterwords. Later that day at “Orientation” Orientation, over twenty-five clubs and organizations met at the Carriage House with information on LGBTQA issues and how Penn students can get involved.

The Queer Student Alliance (QSA) sponsored the “Gay Affair” on September 5th, which capped off the first week’s activities. Almost sixty people were in attendance and enjoyed the food, drink, music, and company. It was a terrific way to welcome new faces to campus and welcome back familiar faces. The QSA also sponsored Philadelphia’s largest LGBTQ-college dance party on October 5 at the Hall of Flags, featuring performances by Penn’s Strictly Funk, Zodiac DJ, and drag queen Vanessa Sterling. The QSA has already had two meetings this semester, planned a number of upcoming social activities, and is always interested in having new members come to their bi-weekly meetings.

ALLIES has had several meetings this semester. The first meeting was introductory in which they welcomed new members, introduced the board, and set out goals for the year. They also discussed the goals of ALLIES: to provide education about and discuss LGBT issues; to make it known that it is okay to be straight and care about LGBT issues; to inform the community at large that queer issues affect straight people; and to create dialogue between the straight and LGBT communities.

For the second meeting, they held a workshop for old and new members entitled “How to be an Ally”, in which they discussed the ideas of coming out, straight privilege, heterosexism, heteronormativity, and how to act as an ally in difficult situations. The group is now beginning to plan for Queer History Month (October) in which ALLIES will display a timeline onLocust Walk with important LGBT history and persons.

For those in the community interested in talking about issues of importance in a comfortable setting, both the Queer Women’s Discussion Group and Queer Men’s Coffee Talk provided such a venue. “Negotiating Identities” and “Sexuality: Nature vs. Nurture? Fixed vs. Fluid? Does it even matter?” were the topics of discussion. Over a dozen Penn students and staff participated in these stimulating meetings. Ideas for future topics are always welcome, as the Women’s Group meets weekly and the Men’s Group plans on meeting at least once a month.

Several other LGBTQA campus groups have held organizational meetings or been active this semester, including: Lesbian Gay Bisexual People in Medicine (LGBPM), OUTEd, Lambda Grads, and Out for Business.

If you would like more information on any of the groups mentioned in this article or would like to find out how you can become involved, please contact the LGBT Center at 215-898-5044 or <center@dolphin.upenn.edu>.

~Rick Naughton, with input from Aviva Moster

Completely Different

What’s it like to be a first year student at Penn? Well, it’s different than I thought it would be. When I came to college I never thought that once again I’d be a token lesbian. All throughout my junior and senior years of high school I was the gay poster child, but I thought that things would change when I hit the wide world of college. Where are all the lesbians? I just don’t understand! I thought that when I came to college there would be more lesbians than I could count. Okay, so perhaps I was hoping for a little bit too much, but can’t a girl dream?

Maybe my experience has been a little different because I’ve already been out for so long, so college wasn’t freedom at last from heterosexual restraints. But I just don’t understand why more people aren’t out. I guess my perspective has been a little skewed. I graduated from a high school where teachers, faculty, and students encouraged me to start a Gay Straight Alliance, where diversity of every kind was cherished, and where acceptance was expected and most often taken for granted.

I guess it sounds like I’m trying to glorify my high school days, but they were awesome and I could only hope that college would be even better. So when I came to Penn and found out that the lesbian population was practically in hiding and that there were no out varsity athletes, I was a little shocked. I always thought that college would be an open environment where people would be open about their sexuality. I mean Mom and Dad aren’t around anymore so come on out!

I’m a little surprised at times at how passively homophobic the Penn community seems to be. Its not that I hear or see outward homophobia around campus but as a community it seems like the “gay issue” is overlooked and avoided. Sure, I’ve only been here for a month or so and I’m trying not to be too quick to come to conclusions, but I’m just a little disappointed.

I am also skipping over the fact that we have an incredible new LGBT Center which I’m sure I don’t appreciate as much as older students do but at the same time you’d think that the Center would reflect the community. So shouldn’t we have a great big gay and lesbian community? Maybe my logic is a little off. Maybe I just expect a little too much but I just wish that the queer community at Penn was more visible.

So all in all, college has been completely different than I ever thought it would be. And yeah, I’m a little disappointed, but at the same time I love it here and I least I have the chance to try to change some things for the better.

~Karrie Moore