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Living with the Results

Penn, it’s a great place to be. Sheltered, looked after, and introduced to a whole lot of new things. Some people love the changes that come after they get here, some do not. Life changes so rapidly in those first few months, but this only sets the stage for an unending future of transformation. At Penn, a mission seems to be continuing education, constantly challenging what’s accepted, and pushing the limits of knowledge. But in some ways it’s hard to think outside the box.

Penn is a box, and no matter how you look at it, Penn is one of the most “accepting” places you can be, but the world at large isn’t like this. There’s always a focus on positive things: increased diversity, expanded knowledge, personal growth. But, in a way I think this makes Penn a bubble of comfort. People think “Oh that doesn’t happen at Penn,” but I say that is an ignorant assumption. Despite the efforts of awareness raising organizations at Penn, people always want to dismiss the possibility that they might have been exposed to HIV. Again, people need to think outside the box. I go Penn, and I have HIV.

Recently the Mazzoni Clinic has been running an ad campaign. “You can live with the results.” At first it might not appear obvious what this exactly refers to, it’s probably not obvious to most people at Penn. The implied conclusion is that you can live with the results of an HIV test. Let me tell you this is true.

When talking about HIV most people think wow, for the first time something “positive” is so negative. I’d say it depends on who you ask. Most people want “positive” amounts of money. Hey being in the red sucks. But, being HIV positive is a definite negative in most peoples’ books. It scares them so much. It frightens people into inaction. Ultimately death can be summed up by inaction. Putting things off never did any good. Procrastination never made a grade better. Choosing not to get tested, or entertain the possibility of being exposed is equally as detrimental. Early action, early detection, can mean a much healthier and much longer life. Choose to live. Get tested.

I want to scream, not out of anger, but out of frustration. People just don’t get it. It’s too easy to ignore the possibility than to accept it. But, the ad campaign is a sign that you can. HIV research has come so far in recent years. You literally CAN live with the results. Am I going to drop out of school? Am I giving up ambition? NO! While my life has clearly changed recently, in some of the most obvious ways it hasn’t. If you want to choose to “live,” you can. It’s your decision. One of the first things you’ll be told if you seek care is that HIV isn’t what it once was. It is no longer treated as a “terminal disease.” (This is in no way to lessen the seriousness of HIV infection, but it does help put it in a more “positive” and current light.) Doctors, social workers, and other knowledgeable people will tell you it is much more like treating diabetes.

This gets back to the broad point I’m trying to make. My doctor and case worker have encouraged me to do certain things. One: Don’t give up hope. Two: Seek Care. Three: Be responsible. This involves telling your partners. This is one of the most difficult things you could possibly conceive. Telling someone else that you might have exposed them (even if you were “safe”) is not the most easy conversation topic. When I was encouraged to do this, I felt a whole lot more responsibility.

There is a problem at Penn. People ignore a real problem. They say it couldn’t happen here. I challenge that. You shouldn’t make that assumption. It’s worse for you than you think. Wake up. Take action. Get tested. I have a lot of friends spanning the sexuality spectrum who are sexually active. If you are active, be you gay or straight, you should be tested. Simple. But, people are scared. Please don’t be. I don’t want to be a poster boy for anything, but if there’s one thing I’m realizing more than ever it is this: You can live with the results.

~Eric Boschetti

Angels: From Stage to Screen

Tony Kushner wrote an amazing two part play — “Angels in America: the Millennium Approaches” and part two, “Angels in America: Perestroika.” Part one deals with social issues—the political-social tensions of the Reagan administration and racial and religious tensions in light of the spread of the AIDS epidemic. The first half won the Pulitzer Prize for Drama in 1993. Part two expands on the same themes and focuses on redemption, the future, and the caregiver/patient relation. This play won a coveted Tony Award.

The above list of themes in the plays is basic and by no means comprehensive, as both parts are set firmly in the magical realism genre. Characters such as Roy Cohn, a prominent, HIV-positive, powerbroker who remains in denial of his condition through the first and second portions of the play, are real. Other fictitious characters portray a wide range of reactions to HIV—by patients, those around them and in part the realization that the nation’s reaction to the epidemic is both political and prejudiced (as HIV is neither a disease of the “weak” or of the “gays”).

Kushner has now adapted his plays for debut on screen as an HBO Production which can be seen in the two parts on HBO throughout the month of December. This opportunity has allowed Kushner’s message to reach a much larger audience. Before “Angels” hit the airwaves, however, the LGBT Center had the honor of cosponsoring the Philadelphia premier at the Prince Theater on November 17, 2003.

The evening started out with a crowded reception before the screening of part one, “Millenium Approaches.” Of the 600+ people who had R.S.V.P.ed, many were in attendance. The theatre’s capacity of 450 was soon filled and spill-over rooms were opened to help accommodate others. With the additional rooms the attendance was around 500 people.

Before the showing cosponsors and representatives from HBO made remarks. Our own Jesse Salazar and Elise Betz, both members of the Center’s Advisory Council, took the stage to reiterate the importance of the film’s message, the importance of a supportive community like Penn’s, and the gratitude of being able to take part in such an important endeavor. Other remarks stressed the point that many of the film’s themes still run true today despite leaps made in the care and understanding of HIV/AIDS.

At a bit past 6:30p the showing started. The only frustrating thing about the showing was that instead of having to wait a week to see Part Two, as most will, those who saw the screening will have to wait an extra few weeks. After having read the play, I can say that the production did an excellent job at bringing Kushner’s work to life. Judging from the reaction of those around me, most agree. Whether one had seen the production on stage, read the plays, or had just learned about them, it seems that the movie was well received. There is much to be learned from the play and its film counterpart.

If you missed the premiere in November, make sure to tune in on December 7th and 14th for the showings of “Angels in America” on HBO.

~Eric Boschetti

The Right Pitch

It was a cold windy day when we took the pitch. We were playing hard and winning the game, but oh how sweet those extra points would be if I could take the ball over the line. I stood there poised to get the ball and run into a line of defenders who watched me anxiously eyeing the line. The whistle was blown and the ball was handed off to me. Tweet! Whistle blown. Play stopped. Redo on the penalty play. Same signals. I eyed up the competition again. They knew the play as well as I did at this point. Whistle blown again. Ball handed off.

I recently found myself on Randall’s Island in New York City. Here many a little league soccer and football have been played. Recently, it saw an invasion. Hundreds of men, their friends and some families crowded a small field under the Triborough Bridge as the East Coast Rugby Invitational began. Yet, there was and still is something special about that day. It was an Invitational for gay rugby players. Teams from Boston to Atlanta traveled to New York City the weekend of November 15, 2003 to participate. And a week later, I still felt the effects of Gryphons v. Gotham Knights and Gryphons v. Bucks.

For me, the team has provided a great opportunity as a social and physical outlet. I notified my parents to their fearful faces that I intended to go to a rugby practice. A warm August evening I was anxious about whether I would be fit enough for the game and wondering how much blood could be lost and stay conscious. I came home a little bruised and exhausted, but I was hooked. My parents were now anxious. The weeks went by and I came to understand the game and quickly loved the new social opportunities opening up. I had not been on a team before where I was not tokenized or too nervous to think of participating. Every week, I hated getting back in my car, first for the soreness I was sure to feel pressing down the accelerator, but also because it was a community feeling that I had never felt before.

Once home, I was physically exhausted and yet I still had to tell my dad and stepmother about what had happened at practice. My dad, an avid football fan, listened. Although we had spent all summer together, after a cross-country drive and having rugby, I felt I had something to talk about with my dad. I ordered rugby boots (cleats) and waited with baited breath while checking UPS package tracking all day so I could wear them at practice two nights before our first tournament. They did not arrive before practice. Dejectedly, I left for work late and disappointed that I would not be able to use the boots at practice that evening.

I arrived at the pitch after a long evening at work and still disappointed at not having my boots to break in. The feeling invaded practice. Fifteen minutes in however, I saw a familiar figure at the sidelines. (Having astigmatism means wearing glasses, but for rugby I play without the glasses — good thing the ball is so big!) I ran off the pitch and there was my father with the box and my new Gilbert Hi-liner boots. I laced them up excitedly, thanked dad profusely and ran back onto the pitch. Questions abound about who the person was and why my father had come to the pitch. It seemed monumental to others on the team; to me, the youngest on the team, it was embarrassing. Practice went on with that familiar figure standing guard silhouetted by the dusky sky. At the end of the evening, walking off the pitch, dad ventured a question, “and all those guys are gay?” “Yes,” I emphatically responded missing the significance of questions from the team and my dad.

As time went on, the team became more used to the presence of various parents, dad, stepmother or mother, at the pitch. Dad and Mary, my stepmom, showed up at our Rehoboth tournament in August. Teammates came up to me to tell me how great their support was and amazed that they knew it was a gay team. They, the team and my mom, were all thrilled to take photos and to see photos that my mom took at a November practice. At the same time I got used to various comments about how great that was. It was something that I, being the youngest member of the team, took for granted.

Ball in hand, I ran hard into the defenders. Turned. Passed the ball off to my teammates, as I pushed against two defending bodies a meter within the try line. We fell to the ground and through the engulfing pile of men all I heard was “Run Phil! Yeah…” as my dad bellowed from the sideline and my teammates scored above me. As I was pulled up from the ground and my dad’s gleaming grin was there on the sideline, it finally sank in the privilege I had with the support of my parents every step of my way.

~Phil Cochetti

OUT & In-Focus: Tom Hier WG’85

It is not difficult to imagine what Hamilton College House (High Rise North) looked like prior to recent renovations — you only have to look at the remaining two high rise dormitories across Hamilton Village (super bloc k). Relative to Harrison College House (High Rise South) and Harnwell College House (High Rise East), Hamilton is a five star hotel. External restoration, large single pane windows, a new color scheme within rooms, high-tech entrance gates, and modern abstract furniture make Hamilton the new residence of choice. Residents have become the envy of all other high rise dwellers, at least until the remaining high rises are also renovated, and Biddison Hier, Ltd. is partially to blame for the anticipation.

Thomas Hier is one of two founders of his Washington D.C. based firm that provides resource planning services to colleges and universities nationwide. Excluding his formal business relationship with the University of Pennsylvania, Hier is no stranger to campus and the LGBT Center. He was a grad student at Wharton from 1983 to 1985 and earned his MBA in finance. In recounting his time at Penn he spoke of the academic and social richness of campus.

“My experience during that time was transformative, both academically and personally,” said Hier. “I enjoyed the MBA program and living in West Philadelphia, and matured in so many ways.” It was during business school that he came out – “thanks, in large measure, to Bob Schoenberg” says Hier. Indeed attending Penn was monumental in his life both inside and outside the academic setting.

After business school Hier was employed at a then-Big Eight accounting firm doing tax policy work. In an unusual career move, he then landed a job at a law firm where he began doing real estate consulting and development for universities. Ten years later he started his own firm, Biddison Hier, Ltd. According to Hier his firm has “developed a comprehensive plan for reinvestment in Penn’s housing system, on which much of the current housing renovation activities are based.”

Since graduating from Wharton, Hier has continued to maintain ties to the LGBT Center. He and his partner are among the original donors to the Carriage House renovation fund. In addition to his financial contributions to the Center, he has actively sought innovative ways to reach out to other Penn alums and LGBT students on campus. In the past he has hosted events for Penn alums in Washington D.C. and most recently hosted a dinner in Philadelphia for LGBT students interested in consulting professions. “It was great fun to meet students who are at roughly the same spot I was some twenty years ago and to be able to offer some advice with a couple of decades of perspective. Every alum should be fortunate enough to have such an experience.”

Tom Hier is more than just the person behind the reinvestment plan for Penn’s housing system and a credited donor to the LGBT Center. He is a long time member of the Penn community that continues to leave his mark on the university through dedication of his time, resources, and both progressive and innovative thought.

~Alex Breland

Same Sex Marriage

I’ve never had any strong feelings one way or another about same sex marriage. I believe in long-term committed relationships and I believe that those relationships can be blessed by the Creator without there being a formal ceremony. However, I also respect the rights and desires of those who want their union publicly celebrated and publicly sanctioned by their communities of faith. I also defend the justification of a couple to have the legal rights and benefits of marriage. But, I have never felt moved to publicly advocate for same sex marriage, nor devalue it in favor of other civil rights issues the LGBT communities face. Personally, I think people should be allowed to make decisions about their own lives without undue influence from the government. Since there has been so much talk about same sex marriage lately, I decided to put my two cents in.

The institution of marriage, like the family, has changed slowly throughout history to meet the values and needs of the people. At one time marriage was considered to be a union of two people of the same religion or the same race. These “traditional” views changed to reflect the equality of individuals and the importance of personal choice.

The union of a white man and black woman in Virginia challenged the family values rhetoric because it required people to expand their definition and perception of family (Loving v. Virginia). Such is the case for same sex marriages. This is not a family values issue. It is a legal issue and this is a matter of hitting people with what they can handle and what they can’t handle. The question here is whether or not same sex marriages should be legal. The answer is yes. The answer is yes because people should be free to marry the person they love. It is yes because it is a basic human right. It is a right granted at birth, not when passed into law.

The little boy who studies history in school needs to know when he grows up that his decision to love and marry a man is okay because his Declaration of Independence told him that all people are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights and among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The woman who has always dreamed of walking down the aisle in her white wedding gown has the right to see that dream become a reality whether the partner is Susan or Steve. We are talking about human beings, people like you, people who want to be married, buy a house, and spend their lives with the one they love. Lesbians, bisexual people, and gay men want to marry for the same mix of emotional, political, and economic reasons as straight people. There is no wrong in that.

There is wrong, however, in allowing discrimination and prejudice to continue. It was wrong when laws prohibited people from marrying interracially. The laws were divisive and perpetuated hatred and discrimination. The legal establishment realized that and corrected their mistake. The same is true now. It is wrong for legislation to dictate to people who they can marry. How many people will have to die lonely deaths in hospitals because America has not given their partners their basic human rights? It is the right thing to do. And we all know that the statute of limitations has not run out on doing what is right.

~Donique McIntosh

The Latest Tackle

After starting last spring, Penn’s Athletes and Allies Tackling Homophobia and Heterosexism (PATH) has taken some large strides and gotten quite a few things done. PATH’s mission is to address the mutual concerns of Penn’s LGBT and athletic communities. By encouraging a dialogue between the groups, PATH hopes to create a safe environment for athletes, coaches, administrators, and fans who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning their sexual orientation or gender identity. PATH also wants to establish resources for those in the athletic community who wish to come out, and for heterosexual athletes and coaches to receive accurate information about LGBT issues. Through bridging the gap between the communities, PATH’s goal is to foster positive communications and ensure Penn’s athletics program is welcoming of people of all sexual and gender identities and that the LGBT community is welcoming of athletes.

The biggest PATH event this year was in celebration of National Coming Out Day. PATH, in conjunction with the LGBT Center and the Department of Recreation and Intercollegiate Athletics (DRIA) brought speaker and Olympic swimmer Mark Tewksbury to campus. Tewksbury, a Canadian Olympic gold medalist swimmer spoke about his experiences as a gay athlete in and out of the closet. One of the most exciting aspects of this event was the sponsorship by DRIA, as it was the first of its kind to be sponsored by DRIA and shows through real action that the athletic department is ready to make some changes.

The most recent PATH project has been to design and set up a web site that contains resources and information for athletes, coaches, and allies. The web site should be up and running in the coming month and will be accessible through the LGBT Center website. Among other things, it will have lists of suggested books and magazine articles, links to other helpful and interesting web sites, a featured athlete, as well as information about PATH. More events are also in the works for the spring semester.

If you are interested in becoming a part of PATH, would like to learn more about the group, help in any way, or if you would like to be on the PATH listserv, please contact either Paul or Karrie at <path_athlete@dolphin.upenn.edu>.

~Karrie Moore

Legislating Liberty

I’ve worked a number of monotonous summer retail jobs, ranging from a “sales associate” (what a euphemism) at a high end home furnishings-cum-useless knick-knack and coffee bean store to a manager at a large video rental chain. None of them, I ever felt, changed my life. None of my work at any of them, I can almost say definitively, ever changed the world or someone else’s life (unless that pound of hazelnut coffee was really that good…). This past summer, though, when I interned at the Center for Lesbian and Gay Civil Rights in Center City Philadelphia, I knew the opposite was true. I helped change and improve people’s lives, and in doing so, changed my own life for the better.

Most times when I mention the Center for Lesbian and Gay Civil Rights (hereafter called the Center) to people, especially students, they ask “Wow, I didn’t even know there was such a thing. Is it in Philly?” This reaction crushes me — here is one of the greatest LGBT organizations I know, working in silence and with no name recognition or awareness of their efforts at all. And even more practically, if you don’t know we exist — how will we help you? So get educated! This great non-profit organization is right in our city (1211 Chestnut Street to be exact) and has been serving the greater Philadelphia area and Pennsylvania at large since 1996. It is also only one of three organizations in the country of its kind, dedicated full-time to advocating equality for LGBT individuals.

The Center exists for the community by working to ensure equality for LGBT folks by providing legal counsel, educational legal programs, community outreach, and policy work. But it seems the Center’s name just gets lost in the list of “gay” organizations in the city, yet their accomplishments deserve so much more recognition than that. (Check out their website for more information!)

Why was working at the Center more fun than checking out videos and mumbling due dates to impatient customers? Because I knew I was part of a process that was directly making life better for my community, and changing the legal landscape that is so important to ensuring that we are treated as full citizens under the law and, as an effect of legislation, hopefully on a ‘normal’ popular basis. I worked as an interim Administrative Coordinator and Development Director’s Assistant (which I still am today) and I can’t even explain how rewarding it was.

Although ordering copy paper and updating volunteer registrations may not seem like life-changing activities, it was work that needed to be done so that lawyers and clinic advocates could focus on their work directly helping clients, taking calls on the clinic hotline for legal advice, and doing public policy work. I also did plenty of more “exciting work” such as help plan our bi-annual fundraising events, help with grant applications, staff tables at pride events and outreaches, etc. The Center was also an amazing place to work because of the staff and volunteers I worked with—their spirit and dedication was truly motivating and made coming to work fun. It was like another little family, and just as we’d all go out to lunch together, get together after work, and have the occasional party we’d also pull together as a family to get our work work done.

So, sick of being stuck behind a register at some minimum wage thankless job? Why not work at the Center for Lesbian and Gay Civil Rights and make it a summer (or school year) you will not soon forget? There are PLENTY of volunteer, intern, and work-study positions available and we would love to have motivated and enthusiastic people as part of the team. Working at the Center will not only be one of the best jobs you ever had, but you’ll also be making a tremendous impact on the world around you, helping to legislate and advocate (and order office supplies) for LGBT equality!

The Center for Lesbian and Gay Civil Rights advocates equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals in Pennsylvania through direct legal services, education and policy reform. For more information, contact the Center at 215-731-1447 or <c4crinfo@center4civilrights.org>.

~Amanda Nordstrom

Alumni Come Home to Penn

Homecoming Weekend 2003 was filled with warm and wonderful events for PennGALA, the lesbian gay bisexual transgender alumni association.

In recognition of the 30th Anniversary of the Penn Women’s Center, Penn-GALA co-sponsored a brunch, held in a newly refurbished space – “The Crest” (formerly The Gold Standard) in the ARCH (formerly The Christian Association). In addition to enjoying tasty food and each other’s convivial company, the sixty or so people who attended heard from Women’s Center Director Ellie DiLapi and Associate Director Gloria Gay and four women no longer affiliated with Penn who made significant contributions to campus when they were here: Anu Rao, now at the Coca-Cola corporation in Atlanta, Joanne Mitchell, now at Princeton University, Jacqui Wade, now a public speaker and consultant, and Carol Tracy, a founder and first director of the Women’s Center, now the head of the Women’s Law Project.

In the late afternoon, PennGALA hosted a program entitled, “The Changing Landscape of our Communities”. A lively discussion followed remarks by panelists Scott Davenport, W’79, WG ’80, a member of the board of Family Pride; Helen Casale, an attorney at Wolf Block Shorr and Solis-Cohen specializing in LGBT family matters; and John Culhane, a law professor at Widener University who represented the Center for Lesbian and Gay Civil Rights in Philadelphia where he is a key volunteer. Paul Williams, President of Penn Alumni, and Bob Alig, Director of Alumni Relations, also stopped by the meeting, extended their greetings, and assured the group of their continuing support.

The “Taste of Penn” celebration, quickly becoming a Homecoming and Alumni weekend tradition, was held this time on the eighth floor of Huntsman Hall, the new Wharton building. Hundreds of alumni attended the event co-sponsored by the several Diversity, Affinity, and Interest Groups (DAIG) of Penn Alumni, the larger organization. Those present were treated not only to sumptuous and varied food and drink, but also to a spectacular view of a rare lunar eclipse.

Once again, a party for young alumni (and older ones who had no problem with the 10p start time) was held at the Center City apartment of an alumnus Saturday evening. Nearly fifty alum and their friends partied into the night as others retired, content from a day filled with exciting and stimulating events.

~Bob Schoenberg

World AIDS Day

December 1st was a special day. For many of us, that Monday marked the end of a holiday break and the beginning of our daily grinds, albeit school, work or both. For others, it marked the end to a frantic shopping weekend and the beginnings to endless weeks of holiday festivities. However, for 45 million people and their loved ones worldwide it meant something much more.  It marked the 15th annual observance of World AIDS Day.

By the late 1980’s, the world had come to understand AIDS, not as gay-related immune deficiency syndrome (or GRID as it was first called) but as an indiscriminate virus that was rapidly becoming pandemic. In 1988, after series of international summits and conferences, the World Health Organization declared December 1st World AIDS Day. It was established with the purpose of 1) acknowledging those who have died, 2) raising awareness through education, and 3) fundraising and activism through a thematic campaign. The focus for the first year’s campaign was communication.

In an effort to end the stigma, a massive information campaign was needed for the public to understand the risks. The stigma that AIDS was a disease for gays and junkies, left many heterosexuals feeling safe. The denial of services or quarantine of HIV/AIDS patients was commonplace. Despite knowing how it is contracted, people wanted to distance themselves. Out of sight, out of mind.

Here we are 22 years later and faced with challenges. The theme for this year was “Stigma and Discrimination,” as they continue to be the greatest risk factors in contracting and dying from the disease. HIV/AIDS, for many, is closely associated with sex, drugs, illicit behavior and death – things that we as a society find difficult to address openly and honestly. With so many taboo issues wrapped in one subject, it easier for people to not talk about it, increasing the level of ignorance, denial, fear and intolerance about the disease itself.

The harsher reality is that the stigma and discrimination surrounding HIV/AIDS keeps many people from finding out their status. It can lead to depression, lack of self-worth and despair. People with HIV have been disowned by their families, fired from their jobs, asked to leave their homes, continually marginalized when support is needed most.

Five people die every minute of AIDS. More than 300 people die every hour. Eight thousand people die every day from AIDS. Three million people die a year because of the disease. We always talk about the face of AIDS. I can think of countless posters with dozens of pictures asking “Do you know who’s positive?” or “This is what AIDS looks like”. They always stress the point that it can be anyone. But who are they? How many of the 45 million do you know? How many people do you actually know that have died? It is easy to talk about the politics, debate the social ramifications when many of us are so far removed from the people who live it everyday.

We can always find ways to give back. Write a check, sling some soup, collect some toys. But challenge yourself to do a little more. Spend time with someone living with the disease. Challenge to move yourself out of your comfort zones. Philadelphia is one of the best cities in this country for AIDS/HIV care. There are many community groups that have opportunities for volunteering. Visit the Center’s resource guide and learn more today.

~Ninah Harris

Philly PDAs

Lately, there’s been a lot of upheaval due to whether same sex marriage is to be legalized here in the States. People for and against this decision have spoken out on television, in newspapers, in magazines, on radio, etc. There’s no question that whether it is legalized or not, the debate will definitely have an important impact on society. However, is American society really ready for this step?

Philadelphia, the fifth most populated city in the US (US Census estimates, 2002), is a good place where society can be observed in order to identify how people feel about relationships around the queer community. Although there might be several behaviors which the queer community may express, public displays of affection are the most concrete and helpful in order to observe reactions among people, in my opinion. Public displays of affection are ways in which a person demonstrates a sense of caring for another person. It may involve just holding hands, a hug, a kiss, etc. I feel that there’s nothing impolite, offensive, or negative about such behaviors. However, when the two people who show these public displays are people of the same sex, questioning, doubt, and even repulsion arise. People feel differently about such displays. Some may feel comfortable, while some others may feel uneasy. It’s understandable why people feel the way they do as people have been brought up differently, and some have never come in contact with a close friend or relative who is queer, and thus don’t know how to react. However, queer people want to feel comfortable and secure.

In Philadelphia, there’s an area where public displays of affection are not given a second glance, the “Gayborhood.” Here, queer people can meet, get together and not fear about public displays of affection. However, if this situation is carefully analyzed, it becomes clear that this space becomes a prison. It restricts people’s freedom by “indirectly” saying that they can only freely express themselves within this enclosed space. In many cases, outside the Gayborhood boundaries repression and in some instances, danger, awaits for those who try daring the society out there. North Philadelphia, in my experience, is one of such dangerous places where public displays are seriously met, in some cases, with violence. Society discriminates against sexual minorities, and does not care about their rights. In such an environment, it becomes hard to even think about married same sex couples living a safe and easygoing life. They may even live in fear of going out to buy groceries for fear of how they may be met by those who dislike them.

If such is the case for one of US’s most populated cities, what can be expected from the rest of the US? It is true that not all the American society is represented in Philadelphia; however, these behaviors give a good picture of where society stands at this point in my mind. Same sex marriage may eventually be approved by Congress, but even then, will society feel comfortable about it? And most importantly, will the queer community feel safe and comfortable in this country of freedom? There’s still a long way to go as there are many issues that need to be addressed. And only then, will legalized same sex marriage

~Suhail Torga