Later, I realized that this was actually a barely controlled flashback, much like one a Vietnam War veteran might have, about the time I drowned in queer theory. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was on a cruise ship -- the biggest cruise ship in the history of the world. It was a beautiful ship. Everything was white: the chairs, the decks, the people. I don’t know how I was there, but I guess they must have thought I was one of the cabana boys, or else they just figured I was pale and affluent enough to pass as white. There were men everywhere. They were all tanned and wore tight but still conservative bathing suits. There were some women, too, but none of them had hair any shorter than Gwyneth Paltrow’s in Sliding Doors. Everyone was a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, a truck driver, AND a football player (except for the women, who rode bicycles and didn’t play tennis).

In the evenings, Celine Dion sang on the Lido Deck. I wore Structure and J. Crew every day, and was engaged to be married (in Scandinavia) to this handsome man who was very blond and looked nothing like Billy Zane, although he was handsome, and happy to have found a Latin lover of his very own.

But as for me, I was filled with an odd melancholy, a sense of something amiss in my seemingly perfect life. I wanted to have long flowing auburn curls, fabulously sequined dresses and a blue diamond the size of my fist, but every time I told my fiancee, he admonished me harshly for being too feminine and gave me another Celine Dion CD. I soon found myself walking along the deck at night, contemplating my forlorn state, when I was accosted by none other than Leonardo DiCaprio. He smiled at me and asked what was wrong. I started telling him about not having the diamond, but then I remembered that he had ruined that beach in Southeast Asia when he made the beach movie, and so I started to try to throw him overboard. That’s when he admitted the shocking truth: he wasn’t Leonardo DiCaprio at all. He wasn’t even a man. He was a word I had never heard, a word called transgender. I was so overcome that I fainted, and when I woke up I found myself surrounded by the many blond men I knew, and they were about to take Leo away when I told them he was definitely male and had saved my life.

Since Leo was attractive and thin, he was allowed to remain on board. He told me that his birth name was Debbie DiCaprio, and that he was Leonardo’s identical twin sister. Leo was also originally born female, and was name Leah. They both had felt different all their lives and had decided to try and pass as men, although they considered themselves to be beyond gender. All this made my head spin. I felt drawn to Danny (the new person Debbie had become) but I felt I couldn’t break the cardinal rule. If I was drawn to Danny, who still had a woman’s body beneath his clothing, then I must be straight, and then how would I ever be able to dance again

One night we found ourselves on deck, my jealous fiancee searching everywhere for us, when I heard the strains of Wagner’s “The Valkyries” and I looked up. There, in the water, was a giant sequin. It was a mountain of glitter and glitz, coming at the ship with sharp crystal edges. All over the sequin, likes the collective offspring of a penguin and a bird of paradise, were drag queens. They were so resplendently dressed that it would have made Joseph rip apart his technicolor dreamcoat in jealous frustration. Each one had more make-up on than the last. And there at the pinnacle of the sequin was a woman, or at least what I thought of at the time as a woman, dressed in a tight purple t-shirt with the name “Kate” written in sparkly letters, and an impressive and elegantly tilted viking helmet. She stood silent and proud, lips pursed in a kittenish pout, as the ship drew closer and closer to the sequin.

All the people on the ship ran out to the deck. They began screaming as the sequin drew closer and closer. There were more assorted creatures on the sequin than mere drag queens. There were men and women dressed in black leather, whipping one another with every implement they could find. There were women kissing women kissing men kissing men. Perhaps most terrifying of all, there were Black people and Hispanic people and Asian people—in equitable relationships with causcasians AND each other. It was a colossal island of androgyny, ethnicity, and sex. Oddly enough, Celine Dion was there, too.

Finally, with a sound as rich, wild, and beautiful as the voice of Aretha Franklin, the sequin and the ship collided. Everyone on the glittering mountain cheered. Everyone on the ship wept in terror. Fortunately, however, there were more than enough lifeboats and efficient ways for everyone to get to them in time (after all, the smart child is always the gay child). I was about to head for the nearest lifeboat when Danny grabbed my arm. “We have to stay!” he said. I decided to trust him and remained where I was.

Within minutes, the ship was half underwater, and the decks were empty except for me and few others who, for whatever reason, had decided to face the waters. Danny said, “We have to go to the back of the ship! The special effects people will have a fit if it doesn’t go vertical!” We ran to the back and grabbed on to the railing as the ship began to rise.

I thought about the ship as it sunk into the icy water. I wanted to cry, because it was so pretty. It was well decorated without being in any way flamboyant. Everyone had their own compartment and everything was planned for the entire trip. Most of all, there was a community, and the people in charge had told us -- promised us, that as long as we didn’t break any of the rules we could visit any straight port we wanted. I was about to try to swim for the lifeboats, but Danny squeezed my hand. He wanted to show me the obligatory man falling onto the propeller. As we laughed, I knew what I had to do.

The water closed over me with a roar. I was frightened. It was dark. I couldn’t breath. I felt myself losing my identity. I felt as though I wans’t a man, wasn’t gay, and was nothing that I had once been. For that matter, I couldn’t say that I was a woman or straight or bisexual either. Worst of all, I felt utterly, completely alone. Then came the hand. Instead of pulling me to the surface, it pulled me further down into the depths. I was terrified, and I tried to fight, but the hand was too strong and I gave in.

I woke up in a beautiful place full of color and light. I had no idea where I was. It was too colorful for Heaven, too sunny for Hell, and too urban for Oz. There was a Viking in front of me. She had a lover there, a woman, another blond dressed as Venus. Before I could ask them about the appropriateness of mixing mythologies, Venus held out a small box. She wanted me to open it.

Inside the box was a beautiful blue diamond, bigger than any I had ever scene. I put the diamond on and saw the book underneath. It was called Gender Outlaw, and on the cover was the Viking woman, dressed in a black dress. I found out her name was Kate Bornstein. I looked up at Kate as the Venus came to me once again, taking the diamond off me. She said, “this is part of the big sequin, and it’s yours. However, I can’t give it to you just yet. You need to find it. There isn’t any wizard who can tell you where to find it, but there are plenty of witches, good and bad, to help you along the way. They have names like Pat Califia and Leslie Feinberg. They will help you find your way back to the diamond. In the meantime, since we’re out of ruby slippers, you’ll have to use the sapphire hair dye and take the gift inside of the book.” I wanted to object to the loss of the diamond, but before I could, Kate blew me a kiss and sent me back to Earth.

Now I spend my days in search of the diamond. I have met plenty of witches along the way, some of whom do indeed wear big pink ballgowns and black pointed hats -- others prefer bustiers. I am enjoying the gift Kate gave me, the play Hidden: A Gender, and I play with it every night. I have read about the witches who have come before me, and I learn my magic from them. I will find that diamond. And if you think I am dropping it off the side of a trawler in the middle of the Atlantic when I’m 106, you are out of your mind.

~Rudy Ramirez is a sophomore English major. If you would like to contact his soul, call Intuitons.

Recoloring History

For as long as I can remember, February has been Black History Month. Different individuals observed this month in very different ways. Often, the administrators and teachers in my school district were the sole voice for this celebration. More often than not, the month was recognized by a bulletin board or just one day of the month being dedicated to observing that history. It is in these situations that the reasons for and behind Black History Month are often lost.

Most Americans do not recognize the importance and the significance of the celebration of black history; and I feel that the same proportion of queer-identified individuals do not recognize the contributions of black history. Black History Month was not intended to become just a Black Pride event,

Alicia Banks

The observance of Black History Month should have increased significance in the queer community for the aforementioned reason as well as others. Many members of the queer community who have made extraordinary contributions to American society are also black. The list of contributors range from political activists like Bayard Rustin to authors like Alice Walker. Each of these individuals has made a tremendous addition to our society. I would like to give a brief history of several of these individuals below.

Alicia Banks is a radio producer, radio talk show host, columnist, and author. She has hosted radio shows in Atlanta, GA - the heart of the bible belt - and is the only out homosexual in the nation known to have hosted a prime time commercial radio talk show. Her FM show mixes the musical and literary voices of Black women with musical, political and sexual diversity. She also writes a column, Eloquent Fury.

Perry Watkins

Perry Watkins was drafted into the Army in 1968 during the Vietnam War, despite having declared his homosexuality. At the time, the Army discharged soldiers for sodomy and other specific acts but not for homosexuality itself. The Army revoked Watkins’ security clearance in 1980. When he sued to prevent his discharge, the Army denied his re-enlistment in 1982. In 1989, the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that it was unjust for the Army to enforce its anti-homosexual policy because Watkins acknowledged being gay when he was drafted. In 1991, the Supreme Court refused to hear the Army’s appeal. Watkins eventually retired from the military with full honors and $135,000 in back pay.

The information about these LGBT and Black identified individuals is available at http://www.blackstripe.com and in books located in the LGBT Center’s reading room. I encourage each and everyone of you to learn about the many individuals who have made contributions to both the Black and the LGBT communities.

~Michael Hartwyk is an AfroLez Femcentric sociology major.

B-GLAD 2000 Preview

There are certain things that happen every year without fail: your birthday, doing your taxes, Boxing Day in Canada, a new look for Madonna, and B-GLAD! This year’s Bisexual Gay Lesbian Transgender Awareness Days take place from March 24 to March 31, 2000. The B-GLAD Planning Committee has been meeting weekly since the middle of the fall semester, putting together a number of exciting events.

Urvashi Vaid will deliver the keynote speech on Thursday, March 30. Urvashi is a community organizer and grassroot activist who has been involved in the gay/lesbian and feminist movements since the early 1980s. She has served as Executive Director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) and is currently the Executive Director of the NGLTF Policy Institute. We are very excited to host this incredible speaker.

After its overwhelming success last year, Qabaret is back again! This year’s showcase of queer-related talent will be held in Rainey Auditorium, housed in the University’s Museum of Archeology and Anthropology. If you are interested in performing, whether you sing, dance, act, play an instrument, or enjoy smearing chocolate pudding on people, please contact Michael Hartwyk at hartwyk@sas.upenn.edu.

In cooperation with Hillel, Take Back the Night, and SPEC, we will be screening the film Boys Don’t Cry followed by a discussion with the film’s producer, Eva Kolodner. This is a must see film with Academy Award nominated acting by Hilary Swank and Chloe Sevigny.

An interfaith celebration also returns as part of B-GLAD for its second year in a row. This year’s celebration takes place in Saint Mary’s Hamilton Village on Sunday, March 26. Clergy from both the Jewish and Christian faiths will be present to share their thoughts and Penn’s gospel choir, New Spirit, will perform.

The Kelly Writers House will be hosting award-winning journalist and author Jesse Green on Monday, March 27. Green, born in Philadelphia, graduated from Yale University. After coordinating music on various Broadway shows for about five years, he became a full-time writer in 1986. Some of his works include O Beautiful (1992) and The Velveteen Father (1998).

Friday, March 31 will mark the return of Gay Jeans Day to B-GLAD. Jeans Day is just what it sounds like – a day for people to wear jeans to demonstrate their support for the LGBT community and its issues. Make sure you and all your friends don your gay and denim apparel!

Finally, B-GLAD will include a dance and a rally on College Green, as well as a number of other programs. Some dates and times for the events are still in the works, but a complete calendar will be available on the LGBA’s homepage http://dolphin.upenn.edu/~lgba/bglad2000. You can also call the LGBT Center at 215-898-5044 for more information on any one of these events.

~Kurt Klinger is the B-GLAD co-chair and a junior computer science major.

OUT & In-Focus:
Alumni with Children: The Joys of Queer Parenting

Babies don’t just happen for gay and lesbian couples. Certainly, much thought and preparation goes into the process of planning for parenthood. I had the opportunity to talk with three Penn alumni who shared in their experience of becoming gay and lesbian parents. Tim Fisher (‘80) and Scott Davenport (’79, WG’80) have been together since Tim’s sophomore year at Penn and have been parents for the last ten years of Kati and her brother Fritz, who is two years younger. Dr. Freyda Neyman (’83) and her partner of almost seven years, Florence Buckley, are more recent parents, of twin three-year-old boys, Emmett and Leo.

Today there is much support and media surrounding the subject of gay parenting but at the time that Tim and Scott began their endeavor they were in the dark. “There really was a blackhole in terms of information. We didn’t know any other gay and lesbian parents. They weren’t something you saw in the gay media. It was uncharted territory for us.” Not knowing what their options were as gay men or where to begin, Tim and Scott placed an advertisement in the local gay paper in DC hopeful to find out what was available to them. Their first assumption was that they would end up adopting. They soon received a response from a woman who wanted to be a surrogate. Mimicking surrogacy procedures followed by heterosexual couples, Tim prepared to father their first child. Fifteen months from the time they placed the advertisement their first child was born, Katherine Anne Fisher Davenport. Two years later, Tim and Scott made preparations for their second child, Cameron Frederick Fisher Davenport, again through surrogacy but this time with a different woman. Tim is the biologically father of both children. Scott then went through the process of obtaining full parental rights from the surrogate mother of each child so that he can legally be his children’s father.

Although there is a plethora of information and numerous organizations that offer support to queer couples looking to parent, such information still doesn’t make the parenting decision any easier.

Emmett, Florence, Freyda, & Leo

Both couples agree that despite the homophobia that pervades our society they have been lucky to have very positive experiences. As Freyda sees it, “I would say that I’m pretty lucky. Everybody that is extremely important to me was really supportive. Not to say that I’m really lucky [in general]. I don‘t know if I can categorize that I’m really lucky or that I’ve built a life for myself where there are supportive people around me.” Freyda has been peripherally involved with Family Pride Coalition International. It has not been her main source of organizational support but more of a resource into which she has tapped. Instead, she is a part of a support group that has been meeting every week for the past seventeen years. On the other hand, after already having started their family, Tim became active in the Gay and Lesbian Parents Coalition International (later to become the Family Pride Coalition International). Tim even held office for some time during his years at GLPCI, acting as the Executive Director. Although FPCI was around in the years that Tim and Scott had Kati, it was then known as Gay Father’s Coalition and was primarily an organization that offered support to gay men with children from heterosexual marriages. Tim was active in the early 90’s when media attention was revolving around the issue of “family values” and gay adoption. As a result, he and Scott have been on the cover of the Washington Post, NY Times, Chicago Sun Times, Boston Globe, featured on the television show In the Life and an NBC news segment on gay parenting.

Surprisingly, for Tim and Scott, another avenue through which they were able to make the acquaintance of other gay and lesbian parents was through their pediatrician. Through that contact, they formed a playgroup with other parents for their children. The playgroup was an early form of support for the new parents. Till this day, after moving from the DC area into Maryland, they remain in close contact with the other families.

Despite the many organizations and support groups that currently exist for queer couples with children, their families proved to be the strongest source of support for both couples. Florence’s family was tentative at first because the children weren’t biologically hers, but now they are wholly accepting. Florence’s mother even took care of Freyda in her final weeks of pregnancy. Both sets of grandparents are actively involved in the lives of Emmett and Leo, as is the case with Kati and Fritz. According to Tim, “Having Fritz and Kati brought he and Scott’s family closer together.” Each couple’s parents had been very supportive in their coming out and continued to show increased support with their decision to add children to their families.

Both couples have been very selective in the social environments in which they raise their children. Tim took time away from his business to be a stay at home father. Freyda and Florence, however, could only make arrangements to stay at home with the Emmett and Leo their first few months. When they returned to work they placed the children in the Joy of Caring Daycare, a child care facility specially geared towards working doctor parents.

A more consequential predicament posed by of gay and lesbian parenting is dealing with the socializing of children in a homophobic society. At present, Emmett and Leo are only three years old, so Freyda and

Scott, Fritz, Tim, & Kati