As citizens of this society, we must begin to challenge the lack of acceptance of difference and the acceptance of hate and the crimes that go along with them. We must begin to step forward and voice our dissatisfaction at the occurrence of ANY hate crime. We must begin to work and stand together to find this type of injustice. It is only with such vigor that we begin to admit and tackle the problem facing all of us.

It is in this vein the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Center and Albert M. Greenfield Intercultural Center are working together in conjunction with student groups to explore the issue of hate crimes in a Town Meeting. The title, “Seeking Common Ground: A Dialogue on Hate Crimes toward Women, People of Color and the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Communities” will be held during the United Minorities Council’s Unity Week on November 18, 1999. The town-meeting consists first of a panel discussion; thereafter, small group discussions over dinner will give people the opportunity to share their thoughts about hate crimes and offer approaches to help conquer this escalating problem.

This is a community event that we hope all will find worthy to attend and actively participate. Anyone of us could be the next victim. We must always remain focused on the fact that when we help others, we ultimately help ourselves and our communities!

~Karlene Burrell-McRae

Out & In-Focus: Kevin Vaughn '77

Kevin Vaughn had no intention of going into politics. Instead, it appears to have just fallen into his lap. Thankfully, politics appear to be an excellent place to end up. As Executive Director of the Philadelphia Commission on Human Relations, Vaughn affects the lives of many citizens in the city, but it has been a long journey since he was an undergraduate at the University of Pennsylvania.

Vaughn was not out while he was at PENN prior to his graduation in 1977. Instead, his commitment to the student body consumed the greatest part of his non-academic time — leaving very little time for self-reflection. During his four years at PENN, he served as the President of both the Student Activities Council (SAC) and Connaissance, as well as Chief of the Sphinx Senior Society. While not acting on behalf of the student body in these organizations, Vaughn served as steward for his fraternity, Sigma Chi, a position that helped him develop his love affair with cooking.

Upon graduation from the University with a degree in psychology, Vaughn searched for a career that appealed to him. He found employment in the financial services area in an insurance agency - quite the leap from psychology. This position served as a basis for his return to the University. In October 1980, Vaughn returned to PENN as an employee of Student Financial Services, a logical position to take following his previous employment. From this job, he moved into the administration at the Office of the Vice Provost for University Life. While employed by University Life, Vaughn returned to school to study at the Fels Program in Government Administration, which sowed the seeds of his political activism. His transition from administrator to activist was completed, in part, because of his involvement with the student body. Vaughn organized a group of concerned PENN students to protest the arrest of two women for attempting to elect an African-American man as sheriff of their town. At this point, Vaughn had come out to himself and accepted his sexual orientation, a point that profoundly affected his political career.

In 1986, Vaughn left the University to work as the director of legislation for Philadelphia Councilman Angel Ortiz. With Councilman Ortiz, Vaughn worked on many issues that were and still are of interest to the LGBT community. When Vaughn worked with Ortiz, Philadelphia had its first hearings on HIV (about legislation that would make HIV a handicap in the city), and the city Council first recognized June as Gay Pride Month. Also, in 1990, Ortiz’s staff began to work on the domestic partnership law, which was finally passed in 1998. By the time this bill was made law, Vaughn had been named Executive Director of the Philadelphia Commission on Human Relations, making him the chief administrator in charge of putting the domestic partnership law into effect. Vaughn and Charles Kaplan, his partner of nine and a half years, soon became one of the first twenty-nine couples to register as domestic partners in the city of Philadelphia.

Although Vaughn has been an active voice for the LGBT community of Philadelphia, he does not claim to be a part of its major triumphs. He feels that the domestic partnership law was important, but the most important victory for the community in Philadelphia was inclusion of sexual orientation in the anti-discrimination legislation, as well as the wording of that legislation to be applied to transgender persons today.

Vaughn also is sure to praise others he has worked with and witnessed in action. Indeed, he feels that Angel Ortiz is a remarkable public figure and that one of the best experiences of his life has been working for both Ortiz and Mayor Ed Rendell. Vaughn also did not want to end the interview without praising the camaraderie of the LGBT community at PENN, which he had noticed as an undergraduate prior to coming out, and the work of Bob Schoenberg, director of the LGBT Center, and Fran Walker, director of the Office of Student Life, for making inclusion a major part of their continued work at PENN.

This is not the last we will hear from Kevin Vaughn. As Executive Director of the Philadelphia Commission on Human Relations, he continues to be a voice in both Philadelphia politics and the lives of all Philadelphians. I, for one, will look forward to hearing from him again.

~Michael Hartwyk

[Editor’s Note: If you or someone you know should be featured in our alumni profile, please contact us c/o the LGBT Center]

National Coming Out Day 1999

The queer highlight of the fall semester is almost upon us. National Coming Out Day (NCOD) is on Monday, October 11. The very first NCOD took place in 1988 to celebrate the anniversary of the lesbian, gay, bisexual rights march on Washington, D.C. NCOD has since become a day for people to see their friends and colleagues whom they already know and respect as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.

PENN’s Lesbian Gay Bisexual Alliance will sponser a few events in honor of this momentous day. The kick-off event will occur at noon on NCOD – coming out of the button in front of Van Pelt Library [College Green]. This “coming out” has been an LGBA tradition for the last several years. This year, however, the event has specifically been designed to draw more attention to itself than in the past. Music and signs shortly before noon will inform those on Locust Walk and College Green of what will transpire, and a full-scale announcement at noon will begin the actual event.

Later that evening, a National Coming Out Day Vigil in Memory of All Victims of Hate Crimes on the Anniversary of Matthew Shepard’s Death will take place on College Green by the Peace Sign [near Van Pelt Library]. The vigil will begin at 9pm, after the completion of the first Philadelphia Lesbian Gay Academic Union event of the year – Edward Stein speaking on ‘The Mismeasure of Desire’ [109 Annenberg School at 7:30pm]. The vigil will be an opportunity for anyone to share his or her thoughts about hate crimes, NCOD, Matthew Shepard, and anything else related. The vigil also marks the first anniversary of ALLIES (a group for the supporters of the LGBT community), for it was last year’s vigil that sparked interest among a few students to organize the group.

Finally, on Wednesday, October 13, in lieu of the weekly LGBA meeting, members of PENN’s LGBT community will gather in the LGBA Office (104 Williams Hall) to share their coming out stories. Everyone is encouraged to come even if she or he wants to just sit and listen to the stories that are told.

Please join the LGBA and PENN’s queer community in celebrating National Coming Out Day!

~Kurt Klinger

It's Not Easy Being Emerald

As the title might suggest, I have always loved the Muppets. I think Jim Henson deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for creating all of the brilliant programs that he did. My favorite as a child was Muppet Babies. Even today, if I'm flipping through the channels, I'll stop if a rerun is on Nickelodeon. I loved that show for three reasons. First, it taught children to use their imaginations to do the things that they couldn't do otherwise -- like travel around the world or into outerspace. I know that I wouldn't be the writer, actor, director, or student I am today without them.

The other two reasons I loved the show were Gonzo and Miss Piggy. I loved Miss Piggy because she was a strong, glamorous woman who knew what she wanted and didn't mind beating up the opposition to get it, and what gay kid doens't love that? I loved Gonzo because he was weird, he knew that he was weird, and felt proud of the fact. For someone who has always felt different in a thousand or more ways, Gonzo was a hero.

In a movie I once saw, a man falls in love with a woman who tends toward leather jackets and dyed purple hair. He says that he wishes he were as "different" as her, and she replies, "When you are different, you always want to be just like everyone else." I saw that statement as perhaps the greatest confirmation of that fact that I was indeed different. In high school, I never felt part of any group despite having lots of friends. Of these friends, there wasn't a single one whom I felt really knew me. Everyone made assumptions about what was going on in my head, but they had an amazing capacity for being wrong. And while I took great pride in my bizarre nature, I still wished that I didn't have to be the only different one.

I have been called different many times here at PENN. I have also been called one of the "most out" people on campus. I have come to understand that both "different" and "out" usually mean "flaming." So I am going to take that word and put it right out there. I am flaming. I am so flaming that astronauts can see me from space. I have been known to melt concrete. My friends all have to wear asbestos. If Lea Delaria is a big dyke, well guess what honey, I am a BIIIIIIG FAAAAAAAG!

Having now admitted the truth, I can talk about why it sucks to be flaming. First of all, you exist as something of a joke. If I counted everything said in complete innocence, about the way I walk, talk, or gesticulate, I would need a five-subject notebook. And you know what, a lot of those comments sting. It is also not fun to be mistaken on the telephone for a woman every time a telemarketer calls. As much as people may love you for being flaming, there is always the question of whether they are laughing with or at you.

Second, a lot of people seem almost scared of you. There is homophobia within the gay community. There are those who would love for the flamers and the dykes on bikes to go back in the closet where they belong so the ‘normal’ queers can get their rights already. For those who take flaming even further, to drag and transgender stuff, there is even more back talk and a feeling that you are "screwed up."

Third, and most painfully -- ‘if I had wanted to date a woman, I would have been straight.’ To be flaming in the gay community is to wear a scarlet ‘F.’ If you are beautiful anyway, that's one thing. If not, you should become used to lonely nights. I know that I have lost in love more than once because I am the Diva that I am. It is not a great feeling.

So what should I do? Should I just forget about attractiveness as a male and become a woman? No, I would like to hang on to most of my body. Should I do my best to become the manly stud that every gay man covets, supressing my own personality for romance? If you think I'd answer yes, you obviously have never met me. No, I think I am going to continue being the Diva that I am. I will paint my nails and wear bindi on my forehead and speak in my natural voice and swish like a curtain in the wind no matter what.

I will continue to be myself for three reasons. The first is that, by being out, loud, and proud I carry on the tradition of Eduardo, Alex, and my dearest friend Nel, who all graduated last year and had no concerns about how they were perceived, as long as they were perceived. Second, I know that by being openly gay I tell every closeted person on campus that it is okay to be as fiercely queer as they want be (already, freshmen are coming out to me right and left).

The third has to do with my father. My mother told me the story of what he said when I was put into therapy at age eight when my parents divorced. My father said to the therapist, “doctor, my son is a rare bird, and I don't want you putting him in a cage.” For the first time, I felt my father knew me. I am who I am, and I am not about to let anyone cage me.

~Rudy Ramirez

Invasion!!!

Dear Readers, has this ever happened to you?

You’re grinding away at your favorite gay club and you spot this person that makes your loins quiver. You lose all sense of time, space, and reason. You bound – no, your feet have left the Earth! – you float to this God, this Angel in vinyl, practically humping the air in excitement! You whip out your best, most successful pick-up line, some heart-stoppingly witty way of saying “let’s fuck,” and then it happens...

“I’M STRAIGHT!!!!”

...like a clap of thunder to your skull, like a chainsaw to the genitals! You bow your head and slink away, not daring to look back. Or, maybe, you become equally incredulous and, enraged, start waving madly to the pink triangles, rainbows, and Judy Garland pictures plastered everywhere around you.

Don’t be shy; you can admit it. This scenario is probably more common than we realize. It seems like a phenomenon that is sweeping the nation – gay clubs and bars are going mainstream. More heterosexuals than ever feel perfectly comfortable with frequenting these nightspots, be it with queer friends or totally on their own. It is a growing boldness, but is it a blessing or a bane?

I have often listened to queer people speak bitterly about the “invasion of breeders” into queer spaces like our clubs and bars. After all, they do have a whole world of clubs to go to, whereas queers are quarantined to a precious few. And if we can’t even be sure of the queer purity of those few places, where are we to go?

I have often heard of gay clubs being “taken over” by heterosexuals, becoming “straight clubs” forever after. I do not know the validity of these rumors, but really, could you imagine that happening to Woody’s? Sure, a ton of straight people go there – it’s a sad truth that a lot of the femme women there are looking at the sweaty, shirtless man behind you instead of you. But is that so terrible? Isn’t it neat that a lot of straight people feel comfortable enough to go there at all, with their queer friends? Isn’t it nice to know that if someone who doesn’t know a single queer person comes out, they can go to a gay club for the fist time with supportive straight friends, and not alone?

I think that straight people frequenting our clubs is a very good sign for the queer community. I see it as an act of acceptance, and even esteem, for queer people and culture – something we have been fighting very hard for.

So maybe us feminine non-heteros will have to work a bit harder to be detected at Woody’s. Perhaps we’ll have to slap a few rainbows onto our ensembles. But I think it’s worth it.

~Ilana Tannenbaum

First Ever Area LGBT College Fair

The Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Center at the University of Pennsylvania, the Allies Network, P-FLAG Philadelphia, the Safeguards, Au Courant, and GLSEN Philadelphia are sponsoring the area’s first ever Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender (LGBT) College Fair on Thursday, October 28, 1999. The event will take place on PENN’s campus from 3-6pm in the Terrace Room, Logan Hall [249 S. 36^th St.].

The goal of PENN’s LGBT College Fair is to provide an environment where self-identified LGBT students and those questioning their sexual orientation can come — without fear of harassment from their peers, parents, or others — to gather specific information about how well a particular institution of higher learning might meet their academic, career, psychosocial, and personal needs. Students and personnel from dozens of Philadelphia-area schools and from organizations serving queer youth have been invited to attend.

Colleges and universities from throughout the Delaware Valley will be represented by an admissions officer and/or a LGBT campus representative (student leader, faculty, or staff) who can discuss admissions information as well as campus climate issues. Some of those participating are the University of Pennsylvania, Rutgers University, University of Delaware, East Stroudsburg University, Penn State University, Haverford College, and The College of New Jersey. In addition, information tables, light refreshments, PENN campus tours, and materials about Philadelphia-area LGBT resources will be provided.

The LGBT College Fair is open to the public.

Going to the Chapel

My heterosexual sister is going to be married soon. For the second time. That said, I do not begrudge her newfound happiness, really I do not. I like the guy and they appear to be in love. They are even cool enough to let me wear trousers in the wedding.

Here is my problem: people’s reaction. Most folks are celebrating the fact that she has found love and gearing up for the big day. My father took the entire week off preceding the wedding so that he and my mother could drive over 12 hours to be with my sister during her last days of singledom -- again. Both my sister and my future brother-in-law were told to take time off by their employers to prepare for the wedding as well.

So why do I have a problem with all of this? Most heterosexual people seem to go through a similar experience when they are going to be married, right? My problem is I never even had my partner introduced as more than a friend, let alone a lover. Her parents refused to even acknowledge that I existed. Such refusal is encouraged in our society where in most places domestic partnership is not even recognized -- forget celebrated.

Now as my sister goes through the ritual of marriage for the second time, my partner has died. Our love was never celebrated by those in our lives or recognized by the law, just tolerated at best and dismissed at worst. I never thought of myself as an advocate for gay marriage before my sister announced that she was going to be married this time. But now, I cannot help but wonder why I have not been a queer marriage activist before. I also wonder if those heterosexuals out there know how lucky they are to have their love ‘officially’ celebrated.

By the way, I am truly happy for my sister. I also think that as of now my family -- although not the law -- would welcome any woman I love into their lives. Not sure about celebrating us yet, but we are working on it.

~Erin Cross

Seeing the World Through Women's Glasses

I love to shop. Not just when I need something in particular, but just to look around and see what’s available. I especially like to find bargains. That’s what happened recently – and this particular bargain had unexpected consequences.

I was walking through the men’s floor of a Center City discount store and came upon a rack of sunglasses. I like sunglasses, but I certainly didn’t NEED sunglasses, as I already have several pairs. One pair caught my eye and, when I tried them on, I liked the way they looked on me. They seemed just the right shape and color for my face. I was amazed to see that these Liz Claiborne sunglasses started out at $90 (or so the tag said) and, after a couple of reductions, were currently priced at $13. The combination of their appearance and their price made them irresistible. So I bought them.

The next morning was bright and sunny. I put on my new glasses and glanced at myself as I left the house. It was then that it hit me. “Omigod, I think I bought women’s sunglasses!” Nevertheless, I wore them and, once on campus near my office, I ran into a student who in the course of our chat, commented to me on my sunglasses. I interpreted what he said as a compliment and thanked him for it.

Feeling unabashed, I showed my new sunglasses to a colleague and a few students, all of whom liked the way the glasses looked on me, but confirmed that, indeed, they were women’s sunglasses. “But they were in the men’s department,” I protested. “After all,” I must have been thinking to myself, “I would never knowingly buy an item of women’s attire.” “What makes them women’s?” I insistently inquired. A variety of replies: the shape, the design, the little grips on the top rim which, from a distance, could be mistaken for rhinestones. I wondered whether I could continue to wear them. I still wasn’t convinced they were intended for women – but I began to ponder what difference it would make if they were.

Later that day, I went to the Open House at the PENN Women’s Center. There I consulted with a few women, including some, I reasoned, whose politics were evolved to the point that concern about, and maybe even awareness of, whether gear was male or female would be completely absent. Though they certainly didn’t seem to care that I might be wearing these sunglasses, they were able to state, to the minutest aspect of the design (for example, the way the corner of the front articulated with the sides), how it was they knew they were intended for women.

I have been challenging gender and sexual orientation stereotypes much of my life and virtually all of my professional career. As a result, what I’m about to say may seem incredibly naïve. Nevertheless, the experience of buying and wearing women’s sunglasses provided me some surprises. I was amazed at how narrow and precise are the definitions of which fashions are “for men;” which fashions are “for women” - and that even those of us who resist such confining phenomena remain cognizant of them. I was also surprised – and a bit dismayed – by how self-conscious I was – and have remained – about wearing something in public which is recognized to be for another gender. My experience was one small manifestation of how rigid and prescriptive gender roles and rules are in our country.

Shortly after the day I first wore the sunglasses, I joked with my staff that I can now identify as transgender. Of course this is not meant to be dismissive of or demeaning to those who really identify as transgender. If anything, my kidding around embodies my realization, resulting from a trivial and harmless experience, just how widespread and powerful are the forces which transgender people face. Wearing my women’s sunglasses with pride may represent a small defiance of them.

~Bob Schoenberg

A Symbol of My Freedom

Inspired by Toni Bryan’s “Pure”

Prelude: A Born Sinner

You all claimed me
I’ve always been the baby
Your baby.
Since Day One.
You watched with mixed feelings
As I slowly took my first steps
So proud of me
But yet
Scared I’d fall and hurt myself.
With those same feelings,
You watched
As I slowly began to take control
Of my life.
I tip-toed
And staggered a bit
Almost fell quite a few times
But I still kept my balance
In the end.

*****

No, Mrs. Maloney
I don’t think my life
Can be found in any medical book
No, Mrs. Maloney
I don’t think this is a phase.
Yes, my mother knows
No,
No she is not happy
Yes, I still go to church.
Yes, Mrs. Maloney
Every Sunday.
God?
Yes, I know God watches me ma’am.
Yes, I know the story of
Sodom and Gomorrah
No, I don’t want to be
a sinner Mrs. Maloney
Yes, I’ll pray.
I’ll pray for you Mrs. Maloney.

*****

Langston Hughes:

You all have taught me
different things
About myself.
In different ways each of you
have opened my eyes
while keeping your own eyes
tightly closed.
You taught me to believe
that the world is (could be) perfect.
But you helped contribute
to the cruelty.
You taught me that the wicked
shall perish
but if they repent
They go to heaven.
But what if...
What is they are only wicked
In the eyes
Of those who don’t understand; the ignorant
What if these “sinners” were actually
His Dream.
And not your dream deferred.

*****

Wind Beneath My Wings/Black Sheep:

Big Brother
My strength
My protector.
Shielded me for many years
From what?
From your life?
It couldn’t have been
my own.
I wanted to be
Just like you.
They say we look exactly alike
I didn’t see it at first.
But now I do
If I grew facial hair
My features would adapt
To be just like yours.
Twins.
Me, the younger
always looked up to you.
Remember?
How could you have not known?
It was so obvious.
Remember that night
they called us to dinner
you went down with your shirt off
No one noticed
I, just like you
also went down bare-chested.
We were the same
I thought.
They didn’t.
How could you have not known?
It was so obvious
You would put me on the phone
with your girlfriends
And I told them “I Love You”
for you.
They never figured out the game.
I guess you were too shy
or maybe you didn’t mean it.
But I did.

*****

Should I be thankful?
That none of you turned your back
To me.
Didn’t kick me out of the house
Or stop speaking to me.
Should I be grateful?
Should I forever be indebted to you?
I’m not.
I thought that that was supposed to happen.
I thought that your love was supposed to be
Unconditional.
Am I wrong?
You’re not supposed to
turn your back on your children.
I’m no exception.

*****

Like Father, Like... Daughter:

Father...
Poppa, my silent companion.
The man so different from me but yet
So close.
I am (becoming) you.
I have adopted almost everything
From you.
Some by choice.
Others by genetics.
Our features.
Our skin.
Our quiet,
almost shyness.
Our taste for new things.
Some of you
Lives on through me.
But some things...
some things I’ve learned on my own.
Didn’t you realize?
Remember...
when you gave him
the remote control car for Christmas?
You gave me that doll.
A doll just like all the others
that lay in the corner untouched
until me and Mikayla play house.
I told you I was mad at you.
Why didn’t I get a car too?
You told me not to worry
You’d get me an even better car
next time.
I waited
Next time didn’t come.
I never go the remote control car.

*****

It’s funny how kids perceive the world.
To them, it’s innocent.
Nothing matters
Besides playtime.
It was the bestest part of the day.
My playtime was never enough.
There was always something missing.
Mikayla filled the gap
Temporarily.
I guess she was the first.
We’d play Barbie
But soon our games
Would transform into something different.
I would always play Ken
a Michael Jackson doll, rather
that I controlled
While Mikayla
Mikayla would maneuver Barbie
and her friends.
They went to the mall
And on dates.
They kissed
And tried to have sex
Barbie’s legs were too stiff.
They wouldn’t open
Michael couldn’t position himself
properly.
We took over from there.
We lay on top of each other
While the dolls sat smiling
encourageably
At us.
We’d teach ‘em
We taught Barbie how to open her legs.
How to kiss Michael
And how to move with the beat
That Michael was dancing to.
Yeah,
We taught ‘em good.

*****

*****

A Wah Gwan?: